Given to Love

DIY: Library Book Bags

2012-01-09T07:57:00.001-05:00

Happy Monday!

I have a gift for you, yes I do.

Hope you'll find it worthy to be called a gift--------> it's my very first TUTORIAL :)

Along with my desire to cut back on unnecessary spending/avoid consumerism, I have given myself some guidelines for this year's gift-giving, all year through, hoping to add a lot more handmade/homemade to the mix... like these handy book bags!

So, I AM giving you a gift, you see.. you can make this lovely bag for all the little ones in your life for less than bucks each. These bags happen to be for my two little girls and my nephew, to tote their library books to and from the library each week, and to use to store them throughout the week so that they are not misplaced/damaged!

You'll need:

+Computer/printer/paper
+a Canvas bag
(I got a 3-pack at the craft store using my 40% coupon= $2 per bag OR you could sew a bag yourself, if you're so inclined.)

+Felt (.35/sheet)

+Embroidery floss (I wanted something thick, paid $.59)

+Scissors, pins and a needle (You already have those, right? .00)

What you'll do:

1. Print out the letters for the name or word you'd like to use on your bag onto a sheet of paper to create your letter patterns. It may take more than one try to get the letters to the right size. I used a font called "WICKED GRIT", in bold, and set the font to "outline" to save on a bit of ink before printing.

2. Next, cut a box around each letter and lay them out on your bag to make sure they will fit. Do not actually cut out the individual letters just yet! (See below)

3. Choose the color of felt you'd like to use for each letter

4. Pin letters to desired felt

5. Cut along the outline of the letters through the paper and felt, then remove pins

6. Arrange your letters onto the bag

7. Pin them into place

8. Using embroidery floss, sew the letters into place, outlining each letter, using longish stitches. They don't have to be perfect!

9. When all of the letters are sewn into place, you're done!

You could add your own embellishments, line the inside with pretty fabric, or just keep things simple like I did.

If you have kids at your house:

don't shoo them. They are a great help!

(Unless they start poking each other with the pins.

Or you.)

Have fun

and post a link in the comment section if you post pictures on your own blog!

I want to see!

This Year's Post-Christmas Post

2012-01-02T21:22:00.011-05:00

Let me start out by saying that this time of year usually sends me into some type of self-searching, life-evaluating, melancholy state of being. It's true.

This year, we started out our Christmas with my parents, siblings, nieces and nephews for a night at the family cabin and a "Christmas morning" on Christmas Eve. Before we even went to bed on that night, the night before Christmas Eve, my dad had decided that there were too many gifts under the tree, and certainly we had not given enough to those in need. He carried his slump into the next morning, seemingly overwhelmed by the gift opening, and clearly distraught. This gave me a peek into what others in my life might experience when sharing Christmas with me. And I will admit, it may be a bit depressing.

But really, I don't intend to be ungrateful, or even a little bit on the sad side.

Christmas just makes me feel like this may as well be a picture of me. If you add four little kids carrying stacks of toys and a husband following behind in a gift-filled mini-van.

+++

Truthfully though, I live a little like this all year-round.

And I just really want that to change.

I am hoping that Christmas will continue to be more meaningful for my family, and less overshadowed by consumerism, but I also want our everyday lives to be carried out in the same manner.

More of Him, and less of everything else.

I've never been one for New Year's resolutions, but I am always working to improve, so here is my list. It probably sounds a lot like others I've shared. I don't know about you, but a reminder is always welcomed here.

Less time on the internet, more time in His Word.

Less spending at Target, on coffee, on fast-food, online-shopping, more giving.

Less gossip, more prayer.

Less self-motivation, more Christ-seeking.

Less me-time, more family time, husband time, and quiet time.

Less of what I want, more of what He wants.

This is my plea, my prayer, my constant goal.

I don't mean to drag ya'll down with me. Mostly I want to encourage you to make more out of your life, and out of your Christmas. Until another year... and throughout the year to come, may you grow closer to your sweet Savior, born unto us in a manger, in the little town of Bethlehem.

Happy New Year, friends.

I love those who love me;
And those who diligently seek me
will find me.
Proverbs 8:17

Edited to add:
I've come across this post from one of my new favorite bloggers, Jen Hatmaker, and wish I had read it sooner. Printing it out for next year and putting it with my box of Christmas decorations.

Our Christmas Card

2011-12-09T16:26:00.000-05:00

Photo taken/edited by my talented friend, Libby // card created in Picnik!

Seeking Him=Loving Others

2011-11-30T22:12:00.003-05:00

+++

I need this perspective... you?
>>>

Four Gift Rule

2011-11-28T23:28:00.003-05:00

A friend shared this great idea/saying with me today as a guideline for simplifying gift-giving to our kids at Christmastime!

Thanks Lindsey!

I guess we did manage to have some meaningful conversation between the

chocolate milk spill (times two) and the madly-running/yelling children.

Jumping back in.

2011-11-23T18:12:00.001-05:00

Sheesh, It's hard to know where to start, it's been so long!

A month+ worth of thoughts and life lessons could make for one looong post, especially if they happen to be from this past month of my life. Maybe I will come back to that, eventually.

For now, I believe I will skip ahead. To what seems to be approaching like mad anyways.
>>>>Christmas!

If you've been around for awhile, you know that last year my post-Christmas blues were pretty evident. I felt completely overwhelmed by the amount of money we had spent, and all that many others had evidently spent on us, by the sheer amount of crap we had to make room for in our home, (when I say crap, I do mean lovely crap) and by my perceived lack of focus on what really matters at Christmastime and always: our sweet Jesus.

I do love this time of year, but something about me longs for January, when life is a bore. I think it is because I feel like this is one time of year that I would really like to savor. To truly enjoy each moment, each gathering. To take time to really teach my kids the true meaning, without so many sparkles and bells and whistles stealing their glances. And to escape feelings of blur and frazzle while cuddled up with hot chocolate and giggles and the perfect Pandora Holiday station (I have yet to find.)

Instead, the weeks between now and Christmas are filled with to-do lists and frantic, wild-eyed shoppers. Don't get me wrong, shopping is a favorite of mine, when I can slowly browse isles that aren't crammed and the lines aren't terribly long. (Yes, you can call me a hypocrite when you see me at Kohls or Target in the middle of the night tomorrow night, in the line wrapped twice around the store.)

This year, I am cutting back, I am making handmade, buying with intent, and not using my credit card. No matter what. (But that's just me. Maybe you have some system for paying those things back that's been working better than mine. That's awesome.)

To help you as you search for more meaningful gifts and to hopefully inspire a more meaningful Christmas, I've compiled a list of my favorite purposeful places to shop online, and drool. (Some newly found!) And will follow with some ideas for new family traditions in my next post. (If I manage to resurface again between now and the big holiday!)

The Vintage Pearl // Beautifully crafted, hand-stamped jewelry

(Order by Friday, December 2 for Christmas delivery)

You know I love them: Tukula

fashionABLE: creating sustainable businesses for woman in Africa

147 Million Orphans: Helping to support Amazima, the ministry of Katie Davis

and promote adoption like crazy!

(Katie's book would make an excellent gift, and if purchased here, 50% of all profit goes to Amazima!)

You've heard of them by now, right? Toms, of course!

All things handmade: (In case you can't hand-make for yourself!)

Some strange, some lovely...it's Etsy!

Some of my favorite shops, sans the strangeness

(Click on the banners to visit)

Also, search Etsy for "kids toys" that are sure to be classic and timeless. Like this great memory game:

Annd...there you are!

Hopefully I've given you some ideas to help avoid the madness!

Happy safe, meaningful shopping.

With love,

Katie

Update on Supporting Adoption (Introducing...)

2011-10-03T09:55:00.009-04:00

I am so excited to tell you that I will now be using donations for my printables to support not one but TWO adoptions! Both families who are walking through this process are families that Justin and I know personally, who we admire greatly and who will make wonderful families to the children they are pursuing!

Steve and Sharon are the pastor and wife at our church, and good friends. They are remarkable in many ways, but what is most remarkable about them is Christ in them and the dedication they have to His Word and His Kingdom. They are in the later stages of adoption, and have been matched with siblings, a boy and girl, from Ethiopia! They are pictured here with their kids, Tyler and Riley.

The other couple (mentioned in my prior post) are in the beginning stages, although they are fully committed to the process as well, and have begun fundraising. I hope to be able to introduce you to them next week!

If you make a donation in any amount using my paypal 'donate' button, or by mail, I will send you the .jpeg file through email for one or both of the printables (below and on the sidebar) for you to print (as many as you'd like!) and frame, if you choose to do so! If you live locally, I would be glad to print one or both of these for you and make arrangements for you to get them from me. I have decided not to do mail orders at this time.

(printables)

100% of the funds raised through these donations will be divided equally between the two families. I will keep you updated on their other fundraising ventures, as well as on their progress!

(More printables to come!)

Life and Grace and such

2011-09-30T08:00:00.018-04:00

I know, its been kinda quiet around here lately.

It's my life to blame. And my list of priorities, which this blog seems to move up and down on. Right now, it's darn near the bottom of the heap, but it's only because I have so many other good things going on at the moment. Good friends, good hobbies, good time spent with God. Things are (of course) far from perfect, but life is full right now, and in a good way.

Kyler is adjusting to Kindergarten, thank you so much for love and prayers. And scripture. I think we're gonna make it after all. :)

And, because I think she is great, and I am guest blogging there today, I wanted to introduce you to a friend in blog land. Her name is Kathryn and her blog, her life and her photography inspire me. I am honored to have been asked to write for her series "Fall into Grace." My post is probably one of the quirkier ones in the series, (maybe a tinge weird) but what else would you expect from this off-beat gal? And while you are there checking out my post, have a look at the others in the series, too! You'll be blessed!

Happy weekend, everyone!

Supporting Adoption

2011-09-17T15:51:00.007-04:00

I am so thrilled to tell you that some friends of ours have committed to the adoption process, and have started fund-raising! They have chosen a country in Africa, and I am excited to be able to follow their journey and hopefully support and encourage them along the way! I would love to introduce you to this couple, and I sure will, just as soon as they make things a little more public for themselves. I promise!

I would love if you would help to support them by purchasing this 8.5X11 inch print that I have designed specifically for this purpose. (Text and artwork fit within an 8X10 inch area.) Each print will be printed on card stock on my regular old Deskjet printer, but a test run shows it will be good quality and ready for a frame!

The cost?

$10 for the print, $3 for shipping if you need to have it shipped. (Frame not included.)

Multiple prints, up to 10, no additional shipping. If you live locally, I would be happy to make arrangements to get it to you!

For $10, I will email you the document (.jpg) and you can print as many copies as you'd like with your own printer/paper! (You could print and frame them for gifts for everyone you know for Christmas!)

To buy:

Use the Paypal "Donate" button located top, left.

Donate the cost of your print(s) plus shipping, if that applies.

Write me a note in the memo box, letting me know what you'd like me to send your way! (If you miss that option, just send me an email after you've made your payment!)
Also, you are of course welcome to donate piles more, just out of the goodness of your heart, if you'd like!

If you prefer, you can make arrangements for check/cash.
Best email to use for contacting me? kmtroup@aol.com

And, I will give 100% of profits to our friends to support their adoption. You have my word.

11x14 inch frame with matting for 8x10 inch print

$9.99 at Target
Display and enjoy!

(update here)

Well, Ky hates school

2011-09-08T08:00:00.036-04:00

That's what he tells me.

He tells me that he doesn't want to cry in front of his teacher, cause it's not her fault. (I'm sure it's not, she is delightful.) He waits until recess so that he doesn't make her feel bad. Tuesday, he said he cried at lunch instead of eating, after he saw my little love note. He tells me that he holds it in as long as he can, but he just can't make it the whole day through. He said he's not embarrassed cause some other kids miss their mommies and they cry too. And I heard him tell his daddy that he thinks about what Mommy looks like and all the fun things we used to do together during the day, and he misses me too much.

Breaks my heart and brings me a giant lump in my throat.

All day kindergarten. It seemed like a great idea when Arnold was loving every minute of it. Oh, how I took those days for granted, he adjusted so well. Arnold thrives at school, it's familiar to him. The piles of kids who laugh at his crazy-kid stunts and the computer time and the sitting and doing and reading, he loves it all.

But now I am faced with a kid who is struggling. Struggling not to cry, to hold it in, for six long days now, 180 to go, give or take. My baby, growing up, too fast, like they all do. I pray it will get easier for both of us, that he will find his way. That he will be brave, have courage. I pray that Justin and I will be wise, to make the best possible choices for our children, for Kyler James.

Man, it's hard to let go. Sigh.

I know, he looks a little like he is already in about the 4th grade, but this is my five year old, and to me, he's still little. <3

So thankful today, this day is exactly what the doctor ordered for the Troups. Kyler might even think of it an answer to prayer, although his exact request was that God make him sick so that he could stay at home; days of downpour have caused flooding and school closings and cancellations. A day to spend at home, such a gift! We will cuddle and make forts and crafts and eat snacks all day long and pretend that it will last forever. We will make the most of it.

I will not let the enemy steal my joy, not today! I will be the kind of mama that my kids want to spend the day with, and I will honor the Lord in all things, through Him who gives me strength.

To those who live locally and not on a giant hill like we do, I hope that God will give you joy today too, even if, tragically, your basements and homes and businesses are being filled with water. Praying for you.

God comforts the downcast.

2 Corinthians 6:7, paraphrased

May God bring you all the comfort and joy that you need this (rainy) September Thursday.

(And, any advice for the rest of the 180? I'll take it.)

Made to Worship

2011-09-06T18:51:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I am amazed by how obvious it is to me that there is a God, the One True God, Creator of all things. Sometimes I am completely amazed by the vastness of the night sky, or the perfect design of even the smallest creature. Or the capacity people have for worship.

Like at Saturday's football game.

No, this is not a post about people who worship football rather than God. If there is a point to be made there, and I'm certain there is, it's not the one I'm making today.

I love college football games. Well, except for the football part. I just don't care that much about the game. But, I love the energy, the crowd, the excitement. I love how you feel like you are part of something big. My husband's team of choice: Penn State. And he does care about the game, a lot. We scored some free tickets and headed a few towns over with some great friends and some adorable little boys for the first game of the season.

I am always amazed by the number of people. God knows them each by name.
I am amazed by the many talents and abilities on display. God made even our earthly bodies so incredibly.
And I am amazed by the capacity we have for worship.

People wave their arms, do "the wave," sing along word for word to the Alma matter, Sweet Caroline and Hey Baby. The marching band plays the fight song and marches in perfect unison. Beautiful cheerleaders dance and flip. The energy level is sky high.

I'm not suggesting it's wrong that we do these things at a football game.
I just think it's cool that it's how we are made.
That one day, all believers will join together and worship the One who deserves our praise, our gifts, our talents, our excitement and our love, more than anything or anyone else.
(Can you even imagine that day?)
It's proof to me that there is a King, a King that we were made to worship.

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

Worship the LORD with gladness;

come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the LORD is God.

It is he who made us, and we are his

we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving

and his courts with praise;

give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;

his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Psalm 100

One step forward, two steps back, or something like that.

2011-08-26T23:50:00.002-04:00

Remember two days ago, when I wrote a post about gratitude?

I was in a good place that day.

If you would have seen me yesterday, you would have called me a total fraud.
Truth is, yesterday, I was miserable.
Truth is, I was finding it very difficult to be thankful for anything, let alone my problems.

Truth is, I have ugly, ugly days.

I finished it out with a good cry on my husband's shoulder. I started to cry over our movie, and then just kept at it. Which kinda weirded him out. I told him not to try to figure it out, I was just plain depressed. And yesterday, I was.

Sometimes our problems seem so big. And I forget how big our God is. On my husband's 30th birthday. (Yep, yesterday.)

He actually has a history of crappy birthdays. There was the one where he watched our cat get smooshed by a car on the road while he was mowing the lawn. And two years ago, the day when the judge didn't show up for court during our adoption in Uganda.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I single-handedly kept that trend alive.

Today, I came out of it, mostly. But I still said too much about too much, and let my problems fill my mind and my lips and truly, I still wasn't very thankful.

I just wanted you to see the other side, the one where I turn around the day after my gratitude post and act bratty: sulk, overreact, moan, groan, cry.

So, now you know.

----

And just because I think this is hilarious,

and in an effort to lighten the mood around here, I bring you my latest Pin.

I'm going to go ahead and pretend this is real, even if it's not.

I like it that much.

***

A Story of Gratitude

2011-08-24T11:59:00.003-04:00

It's easy to be thankful for life's greatest blessings and joys. It's true.
Giggling toddlers, sunny days, all the good and all the plenty...

In fact, several months ago, I started writing down the things I am thankful for, inspired by the beautiful book One Thousand Gifts. One thousand things I am thankful for.

But, even though it is easy to be thankful, sometimes I actually forget to be intentional about praising God for life's riches and beauty. At times I choose to dwell on the negative and weigh myself down with the problems in my life that seem to consume me.

A few weeks ago, something was really irritating me. Just bugging me, like crazy. It wasn't even a problem, really, it just seemed like one to me. (Dare I say, it involved my dear husband?) The more I thought about it, the more aggravated I became. The more I talked (mostly to him) about it, the more I thought about it. I would go into detail here, but the detail isn't important, really, I promise. It could have been anything.

I prayed about it.
And I listened.

I heard God saying, maybe more clearly than I have ever heard Him in my own mind, saying:

"Choose Me, be consumed with Me."

And I was thankful.
I wrote the problem on my list. My hand didn't want to write it, but I forced it.
I chose to be thankful for it.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Luke 12:34

You might think this an odd verse to use here, but if we dwell on our problems, give ourselves over to them, meditate on them; won't our hearts then follow? If we instead put our minds on gratitude, on thankfulness, on Him, won't our hearts then follow, too?

What if we praise Him for things like:
The bad news at work
A difficult family member (No, I don't have anyone particular in mind here, least of all my loving husband!)
Spilled milk
That person who drives you crazy
The growing laundry pile
A bad client
Hard financial times
A messy house
All of it

What if you take what makes you nutty, and choose to be thankful. Write it down, pray about it.

Write "I am thankful for..."

Choose to see the good,
Choose to be consumed with Him.
Choose to be thankful.

Maybe even go a step further and write down the good you find.

I am thankful for my ginormous pile of laundry because it means we have been blessed with more than we need.
I am thankful for my annoying neighbor/friend/relative/co-worker because God is using them to sanctifying me--teaching me patience and love.
I am thankful for the bad news at work because it causes me to depend on Him.

And if you do this, I truly believe that your heart will follow. I can honestly say, today, I am thankful. Tomorrow, I pray that I will make the same choice.
Day after day.
How about you?

+++

Jesus Is.

2011-08-19T08:38:00.001-04:00

***

Amen.

Clarifications, an invitation & some inspiration...

2011-08-17T13:36:00.003-04:00

First things first, I did some editing here, to iron out any confusion that my second church post created within our local community. I do not think it is okay to bash a church you've left behind, and I do still love and care about the people of our former church, of course. The post itself has not changed, but if you scroll to the bottom, you'll find my additional thoughts and clarifications.

[My old church, new church post: Part 2. (edit)]

Next up, I want invite you to the party/ let you all in on an awesome giveaway over at Naptime Diaries. You are going to want to swing by and jump in, that's for sure. Happy birthday, Jessi Connolly, my dear ~~internet~~ friend! :)

Thirdly, some Wednesday afternoon perspective/inspiration. Cause I know I need it. How about you?

No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

1 John 4:12

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.
1 John 4:9

Antsy to get artsy

2011-08-12T06:00:00.004-04:00

Lately, I've been dreaming up all sorts of things to create! Okay, part dreaming, part inspiration-overload on the lovely site I've just joined, Pinterest. (Why didn't I join sooner?!)

Anyhow, I am just about ready to burst, and all I want to do is get started! I have plans for a lovely work-space in the over-sized closet downstairs and can't wait to cozy down with some arsty-crafty project and get lost in it. (That means you might be seeing less of me in these parts for awhile...)

My youngest sister has been living at our house, almost since we've moved in, but she is getting MARRIED on Saturday, next week, and will be leaving to live with her love in New York. (It still doesn't seem real! She was only 12 when I got married!)

So, I've been collecting ideas for the craft ~~closet~~ room. (On Pinterest, where else?) Here are a couple spaces that caught my eye.

***

Of course, my room will have to be much simpler (due to cost and space!), but I can dream, can't I? And of course be inspired by some of the elements in these lovely spaces.

Will post pictures of all my creations and my lovely new space, one day... hopefully soon!

Happy Friday,

have a fantastic weekend with the ones you love!

Feed one: East Africa Famine Relief

2011-08-10T21:30:00.000-04:00

+++

I can't help but think we could be equally desperate one day.

Won't you reach out your hand?

Compassion International

World Vision

My old church, new church post: Part 2.

2011-08-09T15:43:00.014-04:00

As I have said, I love our church.

Our lives have been changed.

We are involved in men's and woman's small groups that are growing us individually, strengthening our relationships with God, and building up our marriage and our family. Justin has taken his place as the spiritual leader in our home.

And I am so thankful.

I don't think our church is perfect and it has taken me some time, some wonderful conversations and a great deal of eye-opening to put my finger on what is so special about it. Why I feel at home there.

I hope to write this post in a way that is encouraging to each of you and in no way insults the church we left behind, or any part of the body of Christ. I hope to help you to discover your purpose and passion for/within your church, and I hope to bring honor to Him.

So, here goes.

I love my church because it is deeply rooted in God's Word. Because many of the people there are reading His word, daily, and becoming more like Him. Because people are transparent, admitting their shortcomings and asking for help and prayer, even for the things that bring them shame; so that they may be transformed more and more into His likeness. They put aside their personal feelings and preferences for the good of God and others.

All for His Glory and His Honor and His Purpose.

I have never before realized the importance of God's Word, and of time spent (quietly) with Him on a daily basis. Although it has been repeated to me in many different ways, all I heard was the rule, the standard, the practice. Read your Bible and pray. But, I did not understand that it is our power source, our nutrition, our everything. That without it we will be wanderers, starving and lost. That we cannot possibly do anything for Him without Him.

The same type of word picture has been given to me three times just in the past week.

If a farmer plows a field and his rows are off at the ends just a few inches at the beginning of plowing, at the end of the field, his rows will be off by feet.

If a block-layer lays brick and is not dead-on with his accuracy, the whole project will be thrown off.

If a person wanders off of the straight and narrow path, just by a few degrees in the wrong direction and does not come back, at the end of his or her life, she will be far, far off.

If you are attending a church that is not completely centered on the Bible, the Old and New Testament, the very Word of God, I urge you to pray about whether or not you are really where God wants you to be. Chances are, unless you are called by God to be there and are helping to work towards reaching that goal, it is dangerous for you.

If your church has taken away from the Word by teaching you:

"Hell is not real."

"Jesus was not the Messiah."

"Homosexuality is not a sin."

"Sin is not sin."

"You can choose what is right for you."

etc

Or by adding to God's Word:

"Thou shalt not consume alcohol."

"Thou shalt not have screens in thy windows." (I don't make these things up, people.)

"Thou must wear a skirt to thy ankles."

"You must be at church three times a week."

etc

(Disclaimer: I believe that some things, like completely avoiding alcohol consumption and practicing specific guidelines in modesty can be personal convictions or choices, but should not be pushed onto other people, especially not an entire church body. Some exceptions perhaps are setting guidelines for church leadership as well as cases where the behavior becomes a pattern of sin, i.e. drunkenness, provocative dress, and so on.)

Or by distorting who God is:

"God hates gays."

"God wants you to be happy." (As a justification for sin/a sinful lifestyle.)

"You must be perfect to enter His Kingdom."

etc

All of these things take away from or add to who God is in a way that God did not reveal Himself or His Law in the Bible. Therefore, they distort who He is in our minds and they distort the Gospel.

For example,

If there is no Hell, the whole Gospel might as well be garbage.What did He die to save us from?

If we can earn our way to Heaven by our own acts of righteousness, why couldn't we just save ourselves? Or: Why bother, it's hopeless, we will never be good-enough!

If sin is not sin, if our personal happiness prevails over His law, do we even need Him at all?

If God hates the homosexual, the drunk, the prostitute, the abortion doctor, why would He love a sinner like me?

It's about the heart of man.

It's about His Word.

It's about the Gospel.

It's about His Glory.

Let's get this right so that we are representing Him in the best way possible, so that we carry truth, and so that we can be a light in this world of darkness. I have a lot to learn, but I promise you, I will be striving for excellence in Him and only by His grace.

+++

The grass withers, the flower fades,

But the word of our God stands forever.

Isaiah 40:8

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

John 1:1

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.

2 Timothy 3:16

Edited to add:

I want to be clear that Part 1 of this post is a reflection on our old church: my regrets pertaining to my own actions and choices there and admitting my own failures; as well as sharing the obvious tug I felt on my heart to move on even though I knew it would be difficult, emotionally and otherwise.

Part 2 should have been a completely separate post. I can see now that even the title of the post suggests that I was comparing the two churches within the second post. That was not my intent.

In becoming part of our new church, and within the blogging community, I have had the opportunity to meet people from many different denominational backgrounds. Often, it concerns me to hear where people have come from and the things they share about what many churches across America are presenting as truth. I firmly believe that God's Word should be completely foundational to any Christian establishment. However, I did not mean to imply that that is not the case at my former church, where, on the contrary, I heard God's Word preached prevalently. The examples I gave of ways that churches add to or take away from God's Word are examples that I have heard of from many various sources, and are not specific to my prior church.

My entire point of Part 2 of this post was this: to share the joy I have found, and to challenge other believers to be absolutely certain that they are staying on the straight and narrow, not veering to the left or to the right.

It was simply my personal thoughts, shared to hopefully bring glory and honor to God, written for anyone out there who might stumble upon this little blog and (I pray) be blessed. For any person who is feeling the tug to move on to the next thing God has for them, or who is mindlessly wandering off-course, or who is confused about what they believe at all.

I sincerely and humbly apologize for not making these things perfectly clear to begin with. I am always willing to admit, and often all too aware of my shortcomings. So thankful for your grace.

My old church, new church post: Part 1.

2011-08-03T15:23:00.005-04:00

I love our church.

The first time we visited, I knew. We knew. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I felt like I was home. Or at least home on Earth. I knew even as I stood there that day, thinking of the ministries I was involved in at my other church, thinking of my heart for the ones I love there, thinking of leaving it all, it had to be done. It was what God had next for us.

It wasn't easy leaving our prior church, at all. In fact, it was one of the most difficult things I have had to do, maybe ever. I couldn't easily explain why, although I tried. I couldn't eloquently give one simple answer to anyone who asked. I fumbled and I tried to save feelings. I just wanted to leave, quickly and quietly. I felt guilt and sadness and I felt like I had failed at something.

The truth is, I had.

I thought I could do it all on my own. I thought I could help the church to see things from my "young adult" perspective. I thought I could lead the teens. I thought I could lead my family. But I wasn't in the Word every. single. day. I wasn't relying on Him to be my power source, or at least not enough. I had a limited understanding of my role and my capacity to lead. And I wasn't allowing my husband to be the Spiritual leader in our home. The result was anger and confusion, on my part. And I will take responsibly for that.

Was it a perfect church? Of course not. But it was full of people who cared about my family, and still do. And for that, I am so thankful.

Nor is our new church perfect. Not at all.

But, oh how it has begun to change our lives, in Christ! Praise Him!

(Can't wait to tell you more...)

+++

All things new

2011-07-27T09:50:00.001-04:00

It's been crazy, folks!
I finally have a day where nothing is planned, Justin is coming home from work early, and the kids are playing quietly. (For now, at least!)

The last several days have been filled with so many blessings, and photographs! I am enjoying trying to make the most of my camera, and have been experimenting with Lightroom 3 by Adobe. (Thanks for mentioning it, Kathryn, I love it!)

On Saturday, I had the amazing privilege of standing beside one of my best friends since middle school as she gave her vows with the love of her life. I also happened to be the wedding photographer, with the help of my sister and a friend! It was one of my most favorite days.

On Sunday, a great sermon, a church picnic, and a photo shoot with my kids and handsome nephew, the first time we attempted photos of all of them together. Success!

Monday, my beautiful niece was born. She is an absolute doll and I love her just as much as all of the other little treasures we've been blessed with in our family.

Isn't she perfect?

I am so thankful for new love,

for new life and for all the joys that come with them.

Happy Wednesday, hope you see God's goodness everywhere you look!

Just stopped by to say hello!

2011-07-25T04:00:00.001-04:00

Promise I'll be back soon :)

For now, a bit of goodness to savor.

For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;

your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

Psalm 57:9-10

Have a beautiful Monday, friends!

Photography and other adventures, yet to be had

2011-07-14T23:38:00.004-04:00

I am untrained, sometimes un-original, and often unsure of myself, but I keep at it.

On the fourth of July, my sister and her fiance, followed by my brother and my expecting sister-in-law, graciously allowed me to instruct them, play with lighting, mess with my camera, and capture the photos below. So grateful that God hung the sun just perfectly in the sky that evening, and that I had such willing and stunningly beautiful/handsome subjects to work with.

I have been really bursting with the feeling/need to be creative lately, and sometimes I secretly wish that my kids would all take a four hour nap every afternoon so that I could paint pictures on canvas or coax my sowing machine to cooperate. I dream of opening an etsy shop to sell my imagined artwork, or little multicultural cloth dolls with beautiful skirts. Or something.

I am thankful to our Creator God, who created me to create for His glory. And these little kids of mine, I need to take them there too. I need to paint with them more, do crafts more, make more messes, knowing that one day, they will grow, and school will occupy their days and I will have a quiet house.

And I will miss them, and I will paint, and I will sew, and I will open that shop, Lord willing. For now, it's the camera and the lens that take me to that place. That allow me to keep from bursting when my days are filled with laundry and spills and skinned knees.

Thank you, Father for an outlet...

For these photographs, I used my Nikon D40 (pretty basic SLR), a 55-200mm Nikkor lens, and Picnik.com, for editing. (I pay for premium, about $25/yr.) I have editing software on my computer, as well, but I am really loving the Advanced options on Picnik, and the look and feel they gave to these particular photos.

Majesty

2011-07-12T23:13:00.003-04:00

LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!

I have been thinking about this verse from Psalm 8 for weeks. It just seems to be coming to mind, kind of like I am being reminded of something. Like, um, how majestic He is.

It's not a word I usually use, majestic. Nor do I usually do word studies...

Adj.

1. majestic - majestic in manner or bearing; superior to mundane matters
2. majestic - having or displaying great dignity or nobility
3. majestic - belonging to or befitting a supreme ruler

This is God, superior, noble, supreme ruler.

I'm afraid I make him too small. No, I know I make Him too small. And because of that, I make everything else too big.

I know I really need to understand his majesty, as much as a human being can, and I need to live like He is King, of all of me. Amen?

+ + +

I'd like to post another "before and after" this week, and also some of my recent adventures in photography, but I also want to be sure first and foremost that you hear from me about my faith. After all, God Above is the very best thing about me.

More soon.

Weekend project: After

2011-07-06T10:56:00.004-04:00

Ahh, so much better, don't you think? :)

Still planning to put glass cabinet knobs on the doors and drawers to finish it off!

(Before)

And before you get to thinking I (suddenly, somehow) have it all together, here is the view from the other side of the couch, to the entryway where Libby is playing with yesterday's swim-things and boxes still wait from last weekend's yardsale. Maybe that will be my afternoon project!

Weekend project: Before

2011-07-02T05:00:00.001-04:00

1 % change: What I feed those kids of mine

2011-07-01T01:27:00.010-04:00

I know, I know, what I eat is important too. Baking cookies and then eating them for breakfast, a mid-morning snack and lunch is something I would do daily if I let my cookie-lovin heart rule my actions.

But seriously, now that summer is here, I really have been feeling the effects of forever being the snack-lady. Not my favorite job. The constant hunger of these four little sprouts is enough to drive a person crazy. So, I'd like to talk about what I'm gonna do about it.

My idea is this: feed them well at mealtimes, and set aside only certain times for snacking. Also, all eating will be done at the table (for cleanliness sake!), and no more on-the-go (fast food) in the minivan.

Ack, if you only knew how much a stretch this is for me.

It's not that I don't keep healthy things in the fridge for the kids. No, it's more my lack of self-discipline and motivation and my laid-back-ness that has lead to all-day grazing for me and the kids. Sure, I serve three meals a day, but I have never really stuck to the notion that a kid shouldn't eat before a meal, especially if it is something healthy, like a banana. What can that hurt, right? However due to this fact, the unfortunate pattern we are stuck in is that of the kids picking at their food at meal time and then ask for a snack FIFTEEN minutes later.

I love using this kind of plate, it encourages me to fill each spot with something different!

Starting as soon as I can get my rear to the grocery store to stock up, this is my daily game-plan:

A hearty breakfast: including a protien (eggs or peanut butter) to keep those bellies feeling full
An early lunch: anything healthy and lots of it
An afternoon snack: like carrots and peanut butter, sweet potato fries, or whole wheat toast
A planned-ahead dinner (I have been meaning to start meal-planning ahead for the week too, more on that soon!)
A bedtime snack: for full bellies to sleep on!

And nothing in between, except for milk and water! This might sound crazy to you, but for me, with four young kids, I've gotta try something. It's the sticking to it that I need prayer for.

So this, my friends, is my first time linking up with Jessi at Naptime Diaries for her 1% changes and I hope and pray that this 1% change leads to many more small changes over time that will greatly improve the life and health in our home! Thanks Jessi, you are inspirational!

As of today...

2011-06-29T05:00:00.008-04:00

I've been married to this guy for 9 years.

I love this photo of him and Arnold, taken during a time when my heart was beating half way around the world while I stayed behind to care for Kyler and Ellie and grow a sweet little baby girl inside myself.

Love you, my love.

Glad to call you mine and thankful beyond words for all that you've done for this precious family of ours.

(You can read our somewhat silly, love/hate story here.)

Summer Snaps

2011-06-28T09:25:00.002-04:00

The moments in through the day when the kids are all playing peacefully are ~~rare~~ precious. I snatched my camera to capture some of those sweet times. I especially love watching all of them play together in their sandbox, top left.

Spending time outdoors in the summer sunshine with heaps of our favorite families/kids (and Billy!) feels blissful.

(Does anyone else remember our seemingly-endless Pennsylvania winter?)

Treasuring these moments, I know they are fleeting.

Thank you Lord, for the blessings of children, of sunshine, of laughter.

Thankful!

2011-06-27T09:40:00.003-04:00

Naptime Diaries

2011-06-15T10:31:00.000-04:00

Honored doesn't begin to describe how I feel to be guest posting on one of my very favorite blogs today!

Stop on by and stay awhile - you'll be quite happy over there hanging out with my dear blogger friend, Jessi. She is a true gem. :)

Pg. 116

2011-06-10T17:30:00.002-04:00

Ann Voskamp, thank you for your words.

These hit pretty close to home most days.

[pg 116]

I am naked and I am right ashamed. I know how monstrously inhumane I can be. Raging at children for minor wrongdoings while I'm the one defiling the moment with sinful anger. Hoarding possessions while others die of starvation. Entertaining the mind with trivial pretties when I haven't bowed the head and heart in prayer longer than five minutes in a week. My tongue has a razor edge and my eyes have rolled haughty and my neck has been stiff and graceless and I have lived the filth ugly, an idolater, a glutton and a grace thief who hasn't had time for thanks.

I want to fully live, right where I am, and I am thankful for this book that I am slowly savoring as I learn the truths of eucharisteo, Ann's favorite word. I am thankful for learning to be thankful.Dear Lord,
Less of me, more of you,
less of me, more of you,
less of me, more of you...

Child of God

2011-06-08T22:38:00.006-04:00

Inspired by chapter five of Made to Crave, I put together this little reminder for all of my "Jesus girlfriends" in my Made to Crave small group. Well, that's what author Lysa Terkeurst calls us and anyway, I never minded a bit of gush. Love what God is doing in our lives through this book, and I really do love the other woman with whom I am privileged to share this journey.

Blessed.

Edited to add: Feel free to print this out and share it, especially if you are part of a Made to Crave group! Enjoy!

Ellie's out-takes

2011-06-06T08:54:00.002-04:00

Love this pretty little quirker!

Be still

2011-06-01T22:37:00.004-04:00

I love having strawberry patches at our house. My dad planted them when my parents still lived here, and there are hundreds of plants dangling sweet ripening strawberries!

The first day that the berries started to turn to red, the kids and I excitedly hunted under every leaf, looking for the perfect one. The very taste of summer!

However, Libby, too young to understand the importance of the waiting, hastily and excitedly shoved bright green berries in her mouth, one after another.

I couldn't help but thinking, "How often do I do that very thing?" In my haste, I miss the best He has to offer, if only I would sit and wait for it. Wait for Him. I miss out on the big and the beautiful for the hurry and the here and the now.

Oh, how I need to learn this lesson.

How about you?

But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

Dude did NOT want his picture taken!

2011-05-28T23:03:00.002-04:00

Which is worse: that I kept snapping photos or that I cannot stop laughing at them?

Love this handsome little fit-pitcher.

Increasingly, yes

2011-05-22T23:15:00.004-04:00

We spent the weekend at my parent's new property in New York with my dad and my sister's family. Our kids had a blast and we are so so tired, and have lots of unpacking to do! (Going to bed right after I post this, unpacking tomorrow!)

We missed our church service this morning which bums me out.

For real, it does. I love our church.

And here is just one reason why:

Our pastor (Steve) says this all the time, and I can't help but think on this daily.

As Christians, we aren't perfect, but (hopefully) increasingly so, as we soak in His word and are transformed by the renewing of our minds!

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18

Just wanted to share.

Hope you all have a beautiful week in Him!

Currently Reading

2011-05-17T15:49:00.004-04:00

Please note that I don't sit around reading these lovely Christian books because I am just so darn GOOD. Not at all. I need all the help I can get!

Also note that I am rarely get to sit around reading lovely books with out being climbed on or poked at.

What have you been reading lately?

The tooth fairy, that jerk

2011-05-15T22:38:00.001-04:00

I know you guys aren't going to believe me, but I swear. This kid was born yesterday. Maybe the day before that, but I'm sure, not five and a half years ago.

There's no way.

Gosh, seriously though, missing his teeth in the front?! His baby teeth, the ones he was born with. Born with, like yesterday! It's crazy. Our Kyler is growing up fast, just like all kids do, I suppose.

Sigh.
Anyhow.

Can I just tell you a little story about the tooth fairy?
After Kyler lost his third tooth, (his first one on the top) that jerk of a fairy forgot to come! (Egad!)
We didn't realize this great misfortune until 5 o'clock, the next morning, when Kyler came crying and sobbing into our dark bedroom.

What now? (This mama ain't a morning person.)

"THE TOOTH FAIRY FORGOT TO COME AND SHE LEFT MY TOOTH UNDER MY PILLOOOOWW. WWWWWAAAAAAAAAA."
Shoot.
Well, of course Justin went to look for himself, to see if a dollar could be "found."
Somehow, it was! (Nice save, right!?)
Unfortunately, 5am-Kyler was expecting five.
Dollars. (Seriously? I think I got a quarter!)
But his cousin told him on the way to preschool that the tooth fairy brought her five. I mean, you'd think the tooth fairy would at least be fair, am I right?
"LAINE TOLD ME SHE GOT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE DOLLAAAAAAAAAAARS.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."

Believe me. The kid got a talking to, and then some hugs and cuddles. And I went back to sleep.
Things went much better with tooth number four. But, there are many of teeth yet to be lost in this little family. Hoping that fairy is on her toes.

(P.S. My kids know that the tooth fairy is make-believe. Thankfully, Kyler was still mostly mad at her, somehow? Not sure how that works, but not complainin.)

He's one of us

2011-05-08T22:18:00.003-04:00

Want to hear something great?
These two are going to spend the rest of their lives together!

Friday evening, Andrew gave Sarah his grandmother's ring, and asked her to be his wife!!

Congratulations to my beautiful youngest sister and my brother-in-law to be! Welcome to this ~~crazy~~ quirky family, Andrew!

Wild

2011-05-07T23:05:00.002-04:00

The coolest animal-rescue under the sun, in the middle of nowhere, five minutes from our house.

How is this the first time we were ever there?!

And, how awesome is the Creator of all things? So amazing.

Happy Saturday, all.

And Happy Mother's Day, tomorrow!

Arnold Turns 7

2011-05-05T15:58:00.005-04:00

Arnold. He's famous.

Well, practically.

Today at Kyler's kindergarten registration, I told the elementary school principal (where Arnold already goes to school) that we are Arnold's family. Did he say "Arnold who?" No way-- he said:

"I love that kid."

Of course, I don't know too many just turned seven year old "Arnold"s, but I do know that this kid is special for more than his name. He laughs and forgives easily, has a bazillion friends, and he loves to make other people laugh, especially his adoring little sister Lib. Most everybody in our community knows of Arnold and many people here and all over this planet love him and helped pray him here. We are still so grateful for each one of them, and for Arnold in our lives.

(If you are new around here,
you can visit our adoption tab to read our story.)

One of my favorite pictures of Arnold, while he was still at the baby home.

Could he be any cuter!?

Snapshots from his pirate/race-car themed party.

Love his reaction to a card that played music

and the gang of pirates after their treasure hunt

Our 7 year old!

Happy Birthday Arnold J!

We love you!

Outside of time

2011-04-27T16:19:00.002-04:00

Can I just brag to y'all about my afternoon?

Justin home, early. (He took Kyler and Ellie for a late lunch.)
Perfect weather.
A sleeping baby.
A blanket on the grass.

Heavenly.

[I've started my list of One Thousand Gifts. Are you reading this beautiful book?]

Happy Easter!

2011-04-23T22:28:00.001-04:00

He has risen, just as he said.

Matthew 28

Hallelujah!

Grocery Treasure Hunting, because I could never be organized enough for couponing

2011-04-18T15:18:00.004-04:00

I love a good deal, it's true.

I proudly shop at our local discount grocery store. You know, the one run by Mennonites with the hymns playing down from the ceiling. It might be my favorite place in town.

It's pure bliss to see what can be found in those long aisles. You know, the ones my kids run up and down while I calmly whisper ~~threats~~ loving guidances.

And yes, I did take photos of my grocery ~~items~~ treasures, to share with you.

Suave Anti-Frizz Cream .79 (Bring it, summer)

St. Ives Olive Cleanser 1.79 (Bring it, zits)

K-cups 2.29/box

(And if you live around here, forget it, you don't stand a chance against me and my mother in law, the K-cups: they are not for you. Be afraid.)

Continuous Spray Sunscreen 2.99/bottle (For the joy of not rubbing down four children with lotion. Although I will do plenty of that after these run out, two weeks into sunshine.)

Barilla Three Cheese Tortellini 1.29/bag (Yum!)

Kleenex 1.29/box (My sister and I share a deep love for pretty tissue boxes. Why would anyone buy an ugly one?)

And there you go.

So, if you don't live here already, move to Pennsylvania, the middle part. And then shop at a lovely place called Wengers. (Or if you are like me, and you don't always think about how things might sound to other people, you can affectionately call it Wengs, but kinda pronounce the "e" like an "a". Eeesh... I embarrass myself, and my sisters.... and one day my kids, without doubt.)

Happy Monday!

Pell-mell

2011-04-10T22:07:00.008-04:00

I've found that my life doesn't allow for daily blogging right now in the way that I'd like. I've also found that my children actually prefer to talk to their mommy when her face isn't distractedly peaking from behind the laptop computer screen. (Eyes diverted.) This post is actually a bit related to just that.

And thanks to you, for putting up with these posts where I lump more than one unrelated thought into one giant pile of pell-mell. (Why yes, I did find that cute little word in my thesaurus, used in the place of random. Don't you love it? Mind if I overuse it, much?)

I'll break it down.

Pell-mell Topic (Numero Uno): I have the brain of a teen girl?
I attended the Revolve Tour this weekend in Reading, PA with a group of lovely young ladies and woman from our prior church. ((I guess I never did tell you about our semi-recent church-transition? I haven't quite figured out how to talk about that on the internet yet. I will make that attempt on another day.)) Anyhow, the Revolve Tour helped me to discover my deep love for music targeting Christian teen girls. While not always super-spiritual, it sure was catchy, and the message was there, maybe not strongly present in these particular songs, but in songs preformed by the same artists throughout the weekend.

Please indulge. Yes, turn it up.

Aw, come on, you loved them too, am I right?

And, the most meaningful song of the weekend, for me:

(Except sung by Tiffany Thurston and the worship team, not Hillsong)

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

Pell-mell Topic (Numero Dos): Less of me
I've often wrestled with the parable of the rich young ruler in Matthew 19. Probably because by definition and in comparison, we (Americans) are pretty well off, if not filthy stinkin' rich. Today though, I've been wrestling with it once more and in a different light; thanks in part to this morning's sermon at church and to Lysa Terkuerst's book Made to Crave. (And I've only really just dug into the introduction!!)

{Paraphrased}

"All these [rules] I have kept," he said. "What do I still lack?"

Jesus says, "If you want to be perfect [whole], go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in Heaven. Then come, follow me."

Then the rich young ruler goes away sad because he won't give up the one thing that consumes him.

(But guess what!?) Jesus meant this for all of us who wallow in whatever abundance we might have. Imagine Jesus said instead "I want you to give up the one thing you crave more than me. Then come, follow me."

Does my wealth consume me? Maybe. Maybe more than I know. Does this apply to me in other areas of my life? Certainly. And it has my wheels turning, and my heart crying: die to self. Die to self. Die to self. Less of me, more of You.

He must increase; I must decrease. John 3:30

Less computer time, more of the Word.
Less talking to people about other people, more talking to God about other people. aka intercessory prayer.
Less me-time and wasted time, more intentional time with my kids/better time management and self-discipline.

Anyone else?

Week in Review, with photos

2011-04-04T13:19:00.014-04:00

Ellie: potty trained! It's true! So proud of this little girl, and love this face she's making here.

Some shots of my (new!) sleeping nephew! Isn't he incredible?

A visit from Joe and Melissa Terranova on Thursday. I don't have a single photo to prove it, but Joe and Melissa of tukula were here, at our house! And they are practically famous! We love them, and we are so honored that they came to visit us on their busy trip to the States. I think these people are fantastic. They act like living in on the other side of the earth is really no trouble at all, and they are letting God write their life story, one day, one year at a time. They are easy to talk to and laugh with and it is clear that He is using them and their gifts and their tailoring business to truly change lives.

Lib's adorable cheese-face, captured.

A typical Friday night with our close friends, Shawn and Stacey and their girls. Shawn goes for surgery on his foot on Tuesday. His fourteenth one after five years on crutches. Praying for them.

A beautiful walk in the woods.

Overnight guests, Zac and Lin, and their four little smiling sweeties. We love this gang, so much!

And signs of Springtime!

Ask the LORD for rain in the springtime;
it is the LORD who sends the thunderstorms.
He gives showers of rain to all people,

and plants of the field to everyone.

Zechariah 10:1

Feeling very blessed.

Fruit: Ya can't fake it

2011-03-23T23:40:00.001-04:00

I have this little list hanging by my fridge. These are the things I want to practice in my life, to perfect even. But something always comes to mind that a wise person once helped me to understand. These aren't things we can somehow achieve on our own strength. At least not for very long, and certainly not all at the same time!

These are the Fruits of the Spirit, attained only by being rooted in Him. This is the fruit that people will naturally see in my life as I grow deeper in relationship and in love with my Savior.

Just a little reminder for your journey. We don't have to try so hard to be of these things as much as we need to just be with HIM. Thank goodness!

Amen?

One weekend, two fancy dinners, and an identity crisis

2011-03-14T01:09:00.002-04:00

I know, I'm a lucky lady, right? (Well, aside from the crisis bit.) Want the details?

Dinner One: An (honest to goodness) gala event

Trust me when I say I'm not-so-much a gala girl.

Just ask our pig, Miss Stinky. Or my beloved 1999 Town and Country.

Or my always-need-tweezed brows. Or my blue-paint-chipped toenails.

Or how about the fact that when referring to the event, I call it the "Regatta Gala," totally without trying to, even when speaking to my mother (who never was a fan of Friends.)

But, in spite of all of that and more, a gala is exactly where I found myself on Saturday night, with my ~~wealthy and elitist~~ banker husband, as guests representing the bank where he is employed.

The Recap:
The Dress
The prom pose
The subtle tan from a tube

One the menu:
A variety of Hors d'oeuvres
Salad with Raspberries and a vinaigrette
Prime Rib and Salmon
Wild Rice
Steamed Brocolli
A variety of mini desserts

I survived, gracefully, I hope.

I should stop there, but I just have to say, it's hard for me to sit there and look at all of the wealth that surrounds me without thinking about the desperately poor. Granted, it was a charity event, (if you consider the local hospital to be a charity) and I know they are doing really great things for our community. Really, really good things. I guess my heart just beats to a different drum, that's all.

Dinner Two: A (pretend) gala event

The kids wanted to know what all the fanciness was about. So, we held our very own event. With a few less rich people and slightly less good manners.

The Recap:
Daddy and the boys wore dress shirts and Daddy's ties
I wore my gala dress
Ellie wore a Princess Dress
Libby wore a tutu
My hair, back to its normal frizz

On the menu:
Mini quiche
Fruit skewers
Hot tea in our fancy tea cups
And my favorite, giggles

I would choose Dinner Two, ten times out of ten. How about you?

And, yes, I am having a blog identity crisis over here! Thanks for asking. I am so inspired by the many beautiful blogs on FaithBlogs that I can hardly leave mine alone! So it's ever-changing, bear with me.

Things I want to figure out...
Flash slideshow headers (I just attempted and failed.)
Custom fonts for post titles and gadgets (I just can't seem to choose a blogger font that I totally love!)
Custom social media buttons (Facebook, Twitter, RSS.. ya know... In a pretty little row)

Noon Tea

2011-03-10T14:08:00.001-05:00

Tea cups from Aunt Ash

Two cute girls (and a husband, home for lunch)

Love.

Today, it was one for the books

2011-03-08T00:23:00.004-05:00

We woke up to nearly a foot of snow, after the power was out for pretty much the entire night our house. Cold, but at least everything started back up in the wee morning hours, in time for hot showers and some morning television time. I could not be more of a night person, and mornings, yes I know they are pretty, but I just can't get used to 'em. I have to just sit awhile, you know, try to wake up. Television time for the kids=wake up time for me.

So anyway, sitting, reading, a little bit of Bible. And Jake and the Neverland Pirates on tivo. (Or Drake and the Nuberland Pirates, if you ask my nephew.) It started out okay, and ended well too, just lotsa crazy in the middle!

We were plus one kid since Arnold's school was closed for the day, and I had no plans of going anywhere. The pile of snow covering the van and the four crazy kids I had to pack up to go out were enough to deter me.

Anyway, I just really wanted to write this post so I would remember it all. Wish I had taken photos. (Shoot.)

Well, here is one from the other day, when Libby pulled her little climb-into-the-tub-with-clothes-on stunt.

Yeah, today was kinda like that.

(And in case the blue water creates more questions than answers, Crayola Bath Dropz.)

Incident No. 1: I found Kyler in the bathroom at the sink with a kitchen knife and a bag of frozen peas. He was using the knife and some water to chip away at a chunk of them, and was eating them by the handfuls. And giggling.

Incident No. 2: While I was back the hallway (ranch style house) Ellie came running to inform me that Libby was outside. (Libby can't open doors.) I asked Miss Ellie to explain how Libby got out and she told me that the door was opened. Wonder how that happened? Libby was running wildly in the driveway, barefoot, when I caught up with her. Also giggling. (Luckily, we are like a thousand yards from any road...)

Incident No. 3: Something inspired the three oldest to strip to their undies and dance. Ellie actually really went for it with totally bare buns. All giggling.

Incident No. 4: Popcorn. Why do I give in? Biggest mess ever. Vacuum always required.

Incident No. 5: (and 6, actually.) Ellie peed in her undies. Twice.

{Notice Arnold pretty much stays out of trouble. Or maybe he is just sneakier?}

And those are just the things that stand out in my mind. The rest of the day was filled with running, yelling, tattling, laughing, and general mess-making-chaos, that could not be calmed. It's like this one last snow put everyone over the edge!

Needless to say, I went to the grocery store, ALONE, the minute Justin got home. Hands down, best trip to the store, ever.

The Question Jar

2011-03-01T22:14:00.008-05:00

Thankful that my mom took the time to put together this simple idea when I was a child, no doubt something other families have done have done as well: the Question jar!

You could not find a easier yet more fun little game to do with your little ones!

Arnold, Kyler and Ellie have been loving this and their sweet answers make us laugh every time we play! And if it were up to them, we would play at every meal.

Hope y'all give it a try!

Love Amazima

2011-02-25T10:30:00.006-05:00

Photo from Katie's blog

If you haven't been paying attention to Katie Davis and her ministry, please have a look this weekend! We can not express how much we have been blessed by just reading about Katie and her beautiful family, and the ways that they are being Jesus to the people of Uganda! We are encouraging people to donate at least a week's worth of meals through Amazima this weekend, for a child in need. This will only cost you:

$2.10

(Or you could spend that on a large order of fries?)

No amount is too small! Or too big!

We have decided that we would personally like to donate one meal on behalf of each new FaithBlogs follower on Twitter, each new follower on our FaithBlogs blog and for each "like" on Facebook for our FaithBlogs page this weekend. (Up to $100.00)

Thank you for joining us!

Everywhere to me

2011-02-23T08:42:00.004-05:00

He is everywhere to me.

In the uniqueness of my children.
Through life's storms.
In promises kept.
In love.
In passing clouds.
In warm hearts.
In friendships.
In the faces of my newborns.
In my children's laughter.
In the kiss of the sun.
In the rustling of the leaves.
On a starry night.
In the wind and sand.
In miracles.
In sweet baby kisses.
In the living Word.
In worship.
In beauty all around me.
In wonder.

Where do you find Him?

Rough

2011-02-21T15:52:00.002-05:00

This weekend has been heavy. Thank goodness for The Presidents, cause Justin has a day off. (I love that man.) I have loads of work to do, but I am in a bit of a cloud. I just thought y'all might like to know that things aren't always rosy over here.

But, there are some things you simply can't blog about, you know? To save feelings, and relationships. There are things that hurt, and things that you want to scream to the world, but can't. I'm an open book, generally, which gets me into trouble sometimes. I guess it's called over-sharing. I don't know when to keep quiet and when to speak out, but I am learning.

I tell secrets, I embarrass people, I am crude. (Not in the foul language sort of way, more like the TMI sort of way.) I interrupt. And I am a motormouth. At least that is what my sister told me once. I am hasty. I am a sinner.

Shoot, I wish someone could describe me as reserved, just once.

But I know, for sure, that now is a time to keep quiet.

Praying for something old,
while longing for something fresh.
Praying for something lost,
while hoping it's not forever.

My side of the story

2011-02-14T15:37:00.013-05:00

Our love story on Valentines Day. Why not? (Besides the obvious, which is the fact that it is totally expected.)

I have love/hated Justin since eighth grade. Thankfully most of the hating was before we were married. In eighth grade, I was pretty dorky. And Justin was way cool. Or at least I thought he was. I must have really admired the bowl-cut that he rocked. I happily sewed his quilt square for him in home-ec and did his art projects, hoping he would fall in love with my creative side, I guess. I didn't really realize then that in 8th grade, boys aren't thinking about a chick's mad art and homemaking skills.

In ninth grade, we were in French class together. Thankfully our last names landed us in-front of and behind each other. We both took French the following year, too. We passed a lot of notes about Puff Daddy (yes, that was his name back then) but didn't bother to learn French. Tension grew between us over the next two years as we took turns liking each other. And watching each other date other people. (Mostly, I was on the jealous side of this cycle, thus all the love-hate.)

Once, in his teen-boy stupidity, he dictated the scene as his friends duct-taped me to my desk/chair combo and set me out in the hallway. There was a sub that day. I don't remember who she was, but I am quite certain she had lost control of the classroom, or simply didn't care. I will try not to call her stupid too.

There were times when things were uglier between us than I care to say, even back then.

After high school, I busted out of central Pennsylvania, and headed to Hawaii for Youth With a Mission. Goodbye PA, goodbye Justin. Hello PARADISE! Except we never lost touch, (good old email) and when I returned home after YWAM, Justin was attending Bucknell University, just one town over.

So, I visited him at his nasty old-chocolate-milk-container filled dorm room and we would take walks through the campus and talk about life. I was the kind of girl he wanted to marry one day, he said, but he wasn't even thinking about dating anyone seriously. Keeping his options open, you know?

I got bored, and frustrated, and after visiting a friend in Oregon, decided it was time to take my life elsewhere. (I'm a bit of a free spirit, you could say.) Waitressing and waiting around for Justin to fall in love with me was no kind of life for a young girl with hopes and dreams.

My dad drove me across the country. Three thousand miles of pure beauty and memories. Everything I owned was in the trunk of my car. I was 19.

Fast forward three months. Yeah, that's all the longer I lasted on the gorgeous West coast. Justin had freaked out. He thought he had missed his chance with me and was begging for me to move home. Yes, begging. He promised a diamond ring and said we could marry that summer. I flew home Christmas morning, 2001. And he asked me to marry him two days later.

That summer, 2002, we got married on a hot and humid day in June. We were young, and tan and in love. And I was trying to have straight hair. Life was going to be wonderful. Shortly thereafter is when all the love-hate returned. Being married at 20 was hard. Justin was still in school, and I was back to waitressing. Long hours. We struggled to pay bills and we fought passionately. We would drive off, throw things. We wanted to leave each other. A couple of years later, we suffered a miscarriage, followed by a year of dealing with our loss and trying (unsuccessfully) to get pregnant again.

Thankfully we had a couple of things going for us. We both believed strongly in making our marriage work. And we had each found a deep faith in God. Even though we were immature, He was the glue that held us together during our darkest days.

Four kids and nearly nine years later, we are totally crazy about each other, and celebrating Valentine's Day as a couple who has come a very long way. We hung in there, and now we can't picture life without each other. Justin is my perfect match, and I am so thankful that we never gave up on this thing called love.

And we never will.

My Everyday

2011-02-10T10:10:00.004-05:00

Lately I've been staying at home a lot. It's good. Mostly. I save on gas, and shop less.

I guess it's the weather that keeps me in, I just can't get motivated to take 2-4 kids and all of their winter accessories out into the world just to kill time.

So...

We've been playing a lot of Just Dance Kids on Wii, and trying to find creative ways to stay stay entertained. And playing board games, of course, although most days I limit the list of options to 1) Connect 4, 2) Memory and 3) Guess Who. Why is it that Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders are not nearly as fun as I remember? Like, I can hardly. bear. them. Or is it just me?

And we've been potty training, sort of.

One problem though, Ellie is in love with her diapers. As in, heart all in, loves her Luvs.

She's three. Plus 2 months. She claims she'll start going in the potty in "twenty minutes," or "when Livvy does." And that "big girl undies are boring" or that she likes "pooping in (her) diaper." The explanation for pee-puddles on the floor? "I was just playing a trick on you, mama!" Oh Ellie.

We also forever stand with the refrigerator door open and ask for snacks and drinks. Well, not so much me, just those hungry kids. They start asking for lunch at 10:30am, which is kind of nuts, since we likely just ate breakfast two hours prior.

That's basically it, otherwise it's laundry, dishes, and tidying up before the daddy gets home. Dinner, bedtimes at eight and then quiet time gloriously spent relaxing on the couch with my love.

Springtime, won't you come?

How do you spend your everydays?

Meet FaithBlogs

2011-02-08T19:39:00.005-05:00

I've had this feeling before. Kinda like the time Justin didn't want to spend money on a picnic table. So I built one, no kit. Sheer joy.

(And just so that you know it actually looked like a table when I was finished...)

Have I mentioned that I get lost in projects? They over-take my brain. All I can think of is getting back to them, figuring them out, making them work. I feel bad for my kids during these periods of time; I am sure they sense my distraction and wonder why I don't answer them until at least the third time that they call mommy.

I have failed at these projects before. Sorry, I didn't take pictures of my blunders for sharing. But sometimes, something truly wonderful is born from it all. I think this is one of those times.

I had this idea on Thursday night (like, last week) straight from God, I believe. And pretty much haven't slept or done laundry since. (Yes, we are in danger a laundry pile relapse.) My idea, my project, for the past five days, and hopefully for a long time to come: to build a community of Christian bloggers who have a passion for writing and for pointing people to their faith.

A site to connect people who read blogs, who write blogs, who love Jesus.

And here it is! FaithBlogs.net

So yes, I feel accomplished, I feel good. I feel excited. Kinda like the first time I drug Justin out to the garage so that he could have a look at that picnic table. I just love having something to be excited about, don't you!?

A special thanks to Leigh, Erin and Melissa, for letting me use your blogs to test out this idea. :) You, and your blogs, rock.

And especially to Justin, who is also pumped about this. Isn't it great when your spouse is pretty much giddy over something you're up to? Thank you, hubs, for letting me stare at a computer screen for the past week while you did basically everything else. I love you.

At FaithBlogs, you'll find: (in no particular order here, sorry to those of you who compulsively want to alphabetize this list)
Leigh from Seeking Love First and One Day at a Time Recipes
Erin from Like a Mighty River
Melissa and Joe from Tukula and The Terranovas

Muffy from the Smitty Family

Kim from Yellow Songbird

Brooke from Pure and Noble

Moriah from Josiah's Nest

Gwen from the Oatsvall Team

Suzanne from Joining the Journey

Kristi from Home with Lucy Lane

Nish from the Outdoor Wife

Hayley from the Tiny Twig

Lauren from Poppie Lane

Danielle from Take Heart

Emily from Ekisa

Cindy from Divine Interruption

Amy from That Fresh Feeling

Jamie from Jamie The Very Worst Missionary

Janine from the Mamalogues
A Deeper Story

THANK YOU ALL!

I would link all of these too, except that is what the site is for; you'll find them there! Go- read, be blessed!

10 things

2011-02-03T14:56:00.012-05:00

Ten things you can do from where you are, right now, to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Some without even getting up off your cozy couch! (Even though I know you so would if you had to.)

1. Feed your family beans. Start rice and bean night in your home. Give the $5-10 you saved on dinner to Amazima for the Masese feeding program. You will provide meals for 2-5 children for an entire week!

2. Support adoption. Sponsor a child who is waiting to be adopted through Holt International.

3. Give gifts with purpose. Shop at tukula and support Ugandan business women like Esther. (Can I say enough about tukula? Not even possibly.)

4. Don't be a hoarder. Give away all of your clothing, coats, shoes and blankets or any item that you aren't currently using. Someone else is waiting in need!

5. Look for opportunities to help. Put a twenty dollar bill in your wallet and ask God to show you a need in your everyday life when you are out-and-about in your community. You just don't know how God might use you to bless someone!

6. Send love. Send a note of encouragement to someone you care about. That's right, use a stamp and envelope. (Okay, you don't have to do it that way, but it does make it more meaningful, don't you think?)

7. Finance a small business without spending a dime. Lend $25 to an entrepreneur to grow their business and change a life at Kiva. Get it back, choose to withdraw it, or to lend it again.

8. Honor someone you love. Search the World Vision gift catalog and explore ways you can bless someone in another part of the world or in the United States with a gift that will be monumental to them and also meaningful to the person you choose to donate on behalf of. For my birthday, my sweet sister Sarah tucked a card from World Vision inside my birthday card that said "Food and aid for children in Haiti has been given in your honor. Because of this gift... their future is brighter." Other things you can buy are hope for sexually exploited girls, a goat for a family in need, medicine, an education! How cool!

9. Ditch Target. Ok, you know I don't really mean that. But if you shop at 147 Million Orphans for a new shirt, necklace or bag, you'll help raise orphan awareness and feed children in Uganda, Haiti, Honduras, China and Ethiopia and help support ministries like Project Hopeful.

10. Adopt. Yes, you! Two years ago, Justin and I didn't know the first thing about adoption.We didn't have a pile of extra money laying around that we didn't know what to do with. We aren't people who just adore all children in every way and want as many as we can get our hands on. We already had a couple of young children and were busy as ever. We are normal people, just like you. But, we love God and we somehow realized in the midst of our self-centered lives, that adopting a child wasn't about meeting OUR needs, it was about meeting the needs of someone else. The needs of a child; the need for a family, the need for love. We had a connection with an orphanage if Africa because of my sister Sarah volunteering there and felt the call to adopt. We took a step of faith and started walking, one day at a time, towards bringing Arnold into our family, even though we had no idea what that would be like. And God provided. People gave so generously; we received donations from family and friends and total strangers in amounts from $5 to $1500! The first time Justin flew on a plane was on his trip to AFRICA! I am just saying all of this to say: if we can do it, so can you. I promise. There might even be a kid out there as stinkin' cute as Arnold J just waiting for a family like yours.

Remember with me. While God (and Sarah) were tugging on our heartstrings, before we knew he would one day call us Mommy and Daddy...

Let's be honest...

2011-02-01T16:15:00.005-05:00

You've been checking back for an Arnold update, haven't you? I mean, he is the reason I was inspired to start this blog. Along with the adoption story that surrounds him and that continues to shape our family.

Truly, he is doing wonderfully. He is friends with everyone. He is playful. He forgives graciously and he is happy. Our favorite testimony to his joyfulness is that even after a hurried morning where Arnold usually takes the brunt of our aggravation due his general unconcern with getting out the door; he always remembers to say "Have a great day at work Daddy!" or "Have a great day at home, Mommy!" just before shutting the car door as he climbs out for school. He is doing very well as a kindergartener and loves to write and draw. Yes, overall, things are going quite well in the life of Arnold Jacob.

Earlier this morning I read an article claiming that many people are discouraged or saddened by the perfect pictures of perfect lives that they find on Facebook. They feel alone in the everyday hurts of life, or they wonder if they are the only one who struggles. Make no mistake, I still heart Facebook. I feel like the blog world is a bit more honest, but I want to be careful not to hide behind pretenses and plastered smiles.

I yell at my kids. I put my make-up on in the car. I overreact. I overlook. I forget. I say unkind things about people. I get into ruts and make bad choices. I have days that are ugly. I argue with my husband. I neglect friendships. Worse, I neglect God.

And if I'm honest, Arnold is just part of this imperfect life in this imperfect world. In a perfect world, he wouldn't even be here. He would be snuggling his birth mama in a cozy home somewhere under the beautiful African sky. They would have plenty to eat and plenty of love. Mommies wouldn't die or neglect their babies, there or anywhere else in this world. In a perfect world, Arnold wouldn't be trying to find his way in a family of imperfect Americans.

Arnold throws irrational fits, which always include coughing and gagging; he pouts, tattles and has some other bad habits that seem impossible to ditch. Kyler harasses him, taunts him, and in every way compliments all of Arnold's bad behaviors with behaviors that draw the worst out in both of them. Brothers, yes. Friends, at times.

People speculate. Do we treat them fairly? Are we too hard on Arnold? Is Kyler jealous? Was this adoption the best thing for our family? Would we do it all over again? Does Kyler get more attention? Does Arnold get more attention? Do people tend to prefer one over the other? Do we?

It's hard. Adoption is hard, still.

But do you know what is harder? Thinking about how selfish we are. Thinking about how many other babies have been left in hopeless situations because of the imperfection of this world. Thinking about the fact that if Arnold weren't here, there would be one less child in a family. That there are millions of children who instead of worrying that they might get walloped on the head by their brother, they have no brother at all. No mother, no father, no love.

I am so thankful that Arnold is here. I am so thankful that this life is about so much more than raising one boy and one girl in a stately two-story with a perfectly manicured yard and a $100k plus income. I am thankful for the struggles. They develop our character, they stretch our love.

The Troups are done growing our family in the biological sense, but we will continue to be open to adoption and imagine that one day our family could be full of more colors and sweet little faces. We will expect that it will be hard, because it certainly will be. But if we can make life hurt a whole lot less for a little child or show Christ's love to someone in need, it is worth the heartache.

It is more than worth the heartache.

Disclaimer: I truly do not feel that it should be one of Arnold's fears that he be walloped on the head by his giant younger brother. We are still working on that one.

29 things I do at least once at week at 29

2011-01-24T00:01:00.007-05:00

I did this list at 26, when I had time to digitally scrapbook it, apparently. And while I haven't been 29 for all that long, less than 24 hours actually, I suspect I will continue to do many of the same things I had been doing at 26, plus all of the things I was doing at 28. (Last week.)

29 things I do at least once a week at 29

1. Melt a little when Libby smiles with her little mouthful of little teeth
2. Nap, one way or another
3. Feel totally and truly blessed by my family of six
4. Feel totally overwhelmed and smothered by my family of six
5. Neglect to feed the kids breakfast until they are asking for it
6. Have a panic attack when I notice Libby is chewing on a lego, mouthful of peanuts, a gummy snack or any other object of perfect-choking-size given to her or left behind by an older sibling
7. Forget that Arnold wasn't always here
8. Loose my keys
9. Loose my mind
10. Spend an evening on the basement couch with my live-in sister to watch tv and heart-to-heart it during commercials
11. Spend an evening on the living room couch with my laptop and my sports-watching husband (while no longer pretending to be interested in sports)
12. Find Kyler in our bed in the morning, that cuddle-loving little bugger
13. Nag Justin to change the garbage after noticing his smash-down-and-pretend-not-to-notice-how-badly-the garbage-needs-changed trick (not so tricky)
14. Spend at least part of a day with my middle sister while allowing our kids to wreck one of our houses as we do our favorite thing. Sort clothing.
15. Hang with the Reality teens
16. Vow to tackle that mountain of socks; maybe Liz wants to help? Is that considered sorting?
17. Stress about being late for church, again. Blame everyone-but-me. Ha.
18. Use phrases like "I love you...you are so special to me... you are beautiful... Mama loves you... Jesus loves you."
19. Use phrases like "Stop tattling... leave your brother alone... get your hand out of your rear... did you wash your hands?...I'd like my privacy in the bathroom..."
20. Get fed up with constant snack and drink duty
21. Pawn off a poop diaper change or two on my mom or mother-in-law. (While they don't seem to mind Lib's, for some reason they seem to shy away from Ellie's bombs and have been really pushing the use of the potty.)
22. Spend time with Jesus
23. Realize how blessed I am to have a husband who adores me
24. Adore him back
25. Visit the local discount grocery store to look for grocery treasures, preferably unexpired
26. Think about the rest of our world and wonder what I can do
27. Let Ellie get away with something, based solely on her cuteness
28. Go to Dunkin Donuts with friends and talk half the night, or wish it was a week that we did
29. Laugh until I snort

Thank you Jesus for a life blessed with family, friends, nieces, nephews, blue skies, starry nights and little arms around my neck. Thank you for this beautiful, mad, frenzied, fabulous life.

Thank you for this year. Thank you for 29 years.

Heartsick

2011-01-22T12:13:00.009-05:00

If you are looking for a laugh today, or a cute story about what my dear children have put me through, you'll have to visit on another day.

Today I just feel burdened. It might seem extremely cliche to you that I am choosing today, the anniversary of Roe v Wade to write about abortion, but honestly, when I woke up this morning, I didn't realize that today was January 22, yet alone what it represents in US History. (That goes for most days.) I did think about an article that I read yesterday by Del Tacket, and the story behind it. I did think about fully born babies having their spinal cords snipped with scissors and half-born babies having their brains sucked out. That is honestly what I thought about. There are a lot of things give me that sinking feeling in the morning, like something is terribly wrong with the world, cause let's be honest, there is plenty to be horrified about. The things humans do to other humans are unfathomable to me.

I know I am a sinner, I believe in evil. I don't believe that we are all innately good and somehow turn into monsters. I believe that without Christ we are all lost, ugly, desperate and destitute. I don't mean to say that this sin (sin being defined as disobedience to God) is worse than the other horrors of this world, or even that is is unforgivable by God and His unending grace. But to me, today, it is gruesome and disturbing and mind-consuming.

I want you to know that I know we don't all agree. Even as Christians, we disagree. I believe that you love God, too, even if you don't have all the same views that I do. I believe that He has given you something to be passionate about. But, I don't understand why I have to be put it a political category or have all kinds of things assumed about me because of the fact that I hate abortion. I am not "intolerant." I do care about people, inside and outside of the womb. I believe in being pro-life for all of life, from conception to older than old. I believe in loving the least.

I don't want to argue, I don't. I don't want you to tell me that in the case of rape or incest, or incest rape or the health or life of the mother, you think it is acceptable.Today I don't want to justify this or debate it or say that I have the final answer in every and all situations, because I don't. I just want to us to recognize abortion for what it is.

Killing babies.

If you disagree, or even if you don't, the best site I feel like I can direct you to is Abort73.com. Please take the time to examine the pages and the images and let them really speak to you, with your heart soft and your eyes open. And always, always seek the truth.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I don't know why you love us, I really don't. But I am so glad that you do. Thank you for your grace and mercy. I pray today for woman in all walks of life who are making choices about the little lives growing inside of them. I pray that you show them that you love them and the little baby within them with immeasurable love. I ask for your forgiveness for a country and a people blinded by greed and selfishness. Help us, dear Lord.

In Jesus' name, I pray.

Some ideas are good, in theory

2011-01-18T22:04:00.002-05:00

Rice and beans (or another basic meal) for dinner once a week, starting tonight. That was my idea.

Just one night each week to make a point to remember how good we have it; to teach our kids to be mindful of how so many others around our world live. To pray for them, that they would have the food that they need to sustain them. One night to save a few extra dollars to send to Katie Davis's Masese feeding program or save for a special need in our own community. Something for our family to do together and an opportunity to train up our children in the way that they should go. Brilliant, right?

Kyler started his fit-pitching while I was digging out the can-opener for the cans of beans. There were tears. And wailing. He was practically throwing himself around the kitchen by the time Justin got home. Justin (undaunted by Kyler's hysterics) seemed amused by this new idea that I was springing on him as he walked through the door. He said he was glad he married a saint. I think he was trying to be witty. Or perhaps rude.

Arnold was the only child who seemed pretty happy about the meal, and I was thankful for his appreciation. But it didn't make it any easier to convince the younger ones to dig in. You would have thought I was trying to feed them rabbit turds. Over little worms and spider legs.

Justin made the best of it with the help of some Tabasco sauce. (He should, he is a grown man.) Ellie pushed her plate back and crossed her arms. She made the face and pursed her lips. Libby arched her back in defiance and fretted and fussed until I gave in and threw a handful of Goldfish on her highchair tray to save my meal-time sanity.

In the end, after Justin started to come to my side and together we bribed everyone with the promise of ice cream for those who cleaned their plates, we vowed that next week would somehow be better.

Ready to give up on this one? Not a chance.

God is great, God is good.

And we thank Him for our food.

By His hands, we all are fed.

Give us Lord our daily bread.

Praise Jesus!

2011-01-14T14:39:00.005-05:00

Read about Arnold's friends, Joseph and Josie Love! You can find their amazing stories as told by the mama's of the 147 Team on their blogs Joining the Journey and the Oatsvall Team. You will be blessed!

Wiz kid

2011-01-11T11:22:00.008-05:00

Trying to see the beauty in Kyler's self-expression, while also encouraging the use of more conventional art forms, like drawing on paper. "Mischievous" doesn't even begin to describe this kid. Exibit A: our lamp shade in the living room, the interior of both of our vehicles, and lastly, himself.

As per this demonstration, this guy even talks out of his bellybutton-mouth.

This is the same child who once found mascara on top of the refrigerator and used it to paint his entire face, and the entire couch while I was in the bathroom. The same kid who inspired me to call the poison control center on a nearly regular basis during his toddler years. The kid who loves hard, plays hard and gets-into-trouble hard. And I wouldn't change him a bit. (Or maybe just a little.)

Love you Kyler James, as much as all the trees in all the forests, and all the stars in all the sky.

Admitting my failures in housewifery

2011-01-08T10:04:00.005-05:00

When I tell people that my laundry situation is out of control, or that I would be humiliated if anyone with any sort of standards inspected the floor of my van, I am not sure that they fully comprehend. I will elaborate. This is our bedroom after almost completely neglecting to attend to the laundry over the busy holidays. (Or at least that is my excuse.)

The problem with conquering such a monumental laundry pile is that sweet Libby feels somehow betrayed by my act of walking from room-to-room carrying articles of clothing to put away, as if I am completely abandoning her in each room that she finds me in. So between naps, she follows me around looking like this:

Clearly, Ellie is feels somewhat neglected too:

Finally, after more than one day of full blown laundry conquering fortitude, order has been restored to the Troup master bedroom. (For now.) You'll have to ignore the basket of socks peeking over the side of the bed. They are still longing for my loving care.

And please don't mind the dingy carpet, but at least it has been re-exposed to gleam in all of its 1989 glory.

If you know Justin, you know that he will be completely mortified by this post, and even more so when I muster up the courage and energy to tackle... dun.. dun.. dun.... the floor of the van, and post those pictures. I bet that carpet will shine like it's 1999.

Favorite Christmas Moments

2010-12-31T10:56:00.003-05:00

Even though I felt compelled to write about my Christmas regrets this year, I am ever grateful that our holiday was packed full of blessings and family. These pictures are just a few from our Christmas morning and five gatherings over three days! And while we were all exhausted, and I am still trying to catch up on laundry and finding a place for our new things, I know that the kids feel loved and that we are privileged to have so many people in our lives to share Christmas with!

Christmas morning, waiting to open!

Kyler's new singlet

Ellie's happy about her new movie

Libby playing with Pappy Joe

Trying to get our family Christmas photo

A special doll from Pappy and Grammy

Libby was so fun this year

Cousin love

Fancy Nancy!

Kyler and Daddy

My lucky sister is married to this guy

My brother and his wife had good news to share!

Checking out her Pillow Pet

Fun with Just Dance 2

My husband's mom giving it a shot, so fun!

...and his brother, really good at it...

And finally, I had to try it too

My Christmas Regrets (Yeah, I said it.)

2010-12-29T09:52:00.011-05:00

This post is hard to write, for sure, because we all want to feel really good about Christmas, right? It truly is the best time of the year for many of us, and we have so much to celebrate! Christ our Savior is born!

But for days this list has been going through my mind.

My Christmas Regrets

1. We didn't make a birthday cake for Jesus. I swore I would do that with my kids every year, as a top priority, a family tradition, and we just simply didn't have time. Shoot.

But that doesn't even compare to regret number two...

2. We overdid it, again. Well, we didn't try. In fact, we try not to every year, and fail.

We have a three-gift rule at home. (A great idea from a good friend.) Just three gifts per kid on Christmas morning, and I actually feel like that would be enough. Period. (As the story goes, that is how many Jesus got, right!?) Since our kids are so young, and they aren't hard to please, it really doesn't cost us a bundle. Even still, I decided to figure out how much money was (probably) spent on each of our children overall... by us, aunts, uncles, grandparents, great-grandparents and cousins combined... AND GET THIS... for the money spent on one of my four we could have provided over 3,330 meals for children in Africa through Katie Davis's feeding program. That amounts to meals for a YEAR for FIVE children. And that is for just ONE of my children for ONE day for GIFTS that they simply don't need. So, for all the money that was spent on my FOUR kids (needlessly), we could have bought meals for TWENTY African children who have nothing... for an entire year. Children who will be begging on the streets instead.

And the money spent on me as well, and the money I spent on others? I shudder...

My Christmas cards and stamps alone could have provided food for a child in need for four months.

What will Jesus say to me one day when I stand before Him? Oh, you didn't try to allow this to happen? You knew about my starving children and their families around the world and you thought you had a right to do Christmas the same way that everyone else in America does? That your kids somehow deserve to get everything they WANT? That Christmas cards are nice? Do you know that my other children went without food so that you and yours could be momentarily pleased!!?

3. Even worse, we will probably do it all over again next year.

I truly hope not. A much simpler Christmas is my plan. I may have to pull up this post again in the middle of October to remind myself to put an end to the INSANITY because I tend to quickly forget... and am so easily sucked back into it. (Aren't we all?) Just yesterday I was doing returns and more shopping and the two cashier ladies at Macy's were both SICK, tired and had dark circles under their eyes. They said they couldn't wait for the season to be over. I tried to ignore the twinge of guilt I felt.

I know that things like warm Christmas greetings via Christmas cards and gifts given to express our love and thoughtfulness are not bad things. I know that a note written to a lonely person or a gift given through Angel Tree might bring joy to a holiday otherwise marked by sadness for some. I believe that the people who bought gifts for me and my family this year are wonderful people with kind hearts, and I love them dearly. I just wonder if any of you feel a little like I do after it's all behind us?

Kinda... exhausted, empty, and maybe like we are missing the point of it all.

I am aware that there are names for people like me... Scrooge, Grinch, Extremist... but before you think I am THE BIGGEST Debbie Downer that ever walked the earth, I do want to share some of my favorite meaningful gift ideas with you from this year. (It wasn't all bad...) And some of my ideas on how to make next year really count!

Ornaments made by my boys

Handmade earrings from my in-laws (love!)

A (beautiful) 147 bag from my parents to my (beautiful) sister

A hat, hand knit from a friend

Toms shoes from my sister

(for every pair sold, one pair is given to a child in need)

A share of a pig donated through World Vision

in our honor, from my parents

Ideas for next year
1. More time focusing on JESUS, less on ourselves, gifts and Santa

2. Less busyness, more spending quality time

3. Less giving to those who have all they could ever want, more giving to the very needy

4. Less card sending, more e-greetings to let my friends know that the money I would have spent on their Christmas card and stamp has paid for 5 meals for a child in Africa

5. More shopping at places like 147, tukula, Toms and World Vision, less at Target

6. More using brown paper bags, less expensive gift bags... or gift giving in pretty reusable grocery bags

7. Less waste, more creative ways to cut back (Any other ideas!?) with the intent of course to not just to save our own bank accounts, but to have more to give away!

If you already do many of these things and more, GOOD FOR YOU, and good for those you BLESS!

However, if this all seems like a bit too much to ask of you, or just plain irritates you, maybe you could take some quiet time to pray about it all and decide what YOU and your family can do differently next year?

Next post, my favorite Christmas moments, with photos!

New look, new links!

2010-12-27T00:10:00.006-05:00

Yes, please enjoy the new look, but more importantly, click on the new links to the right! tukula and 147 million orphans are businesses run by our personal friends, Joe and Melissa and Gwen and Suzanne, respectively. I can't say enough about the admiration that I have for these people and what they are doing in the name of Jesus and I am hoping to raise more awareness for them and their big causes here on my little ol' blog! So click, click! You'll be glad ya did!

tukula

147 million orphans

Things I have learned since we last talked...

2010-12-24T09:16:00.010-05:00

The new house (aka my old house) is perfect for our family, and we love it here. There is plenty of room for kids and all that comes with them, and for guests! We are thankful to have my sister Sarah living with us again, and look forward to Billy spending some time with us over his Christmas break.

Kenny (my mentally handicapped, OCD uncle) is more difficult to live with than I had ever imagined. My favorite stories from his stay with us are mixed with frustration for sure, but when I ask myself in those moments "What is wrong with him!!?" I am reminded... he truly cannot help the way that he is. One day at dinner, Kyler asked "Dad, is Kenny an old man or a little kid?" Both, actually. And I can not wait to talk to that dear old kid in Heaven one day when God has made all things new.

One afternoon after telling him that the video tape he wanted to watch wasn't working, he took apart his entire tv and vcr. He took down the towel bars in his bathroom, the rod in his closet, and tried to switch the doorknobs around from door to door in the basement. He hates to bathe, loves to clear acorns off the deck and needs to drink exactly three glasses of water at dinner. God bless him.

Thankfully, my mom's other brother and his family who have older children have decided to give this thing a try. So the Kenny chapter in our lives is closed, and now we can just love him without the day to day, pull your hair out, stress of it all. Whew!

Piglets are heart-breakers. All that Kyler wanted for his birthday was a baby pig. We have a barn, and an enthusiastic kid, so we figured we would give it a shot. We also had this picture from Kyler's toddlerhood to help romanticize the whole idea.

We took the kids to a local farm to pick the ones we wanted. (We got two, so that they could keep each other warm on the cold nights.) And then we waited for weeks for them to be ready to leave the mama pig. Now one week we've had the little porkers, and Miss Smelly is living inside, as in, IN OUR HOUSE, solo. (In a doggie crate.) Miss Stinky didn't make it through the night last night due to.. complications that (I'm sure) you don't care to know about. Farewell little pink one.

Time flies. We have a one-year-old baby girl! Happy birthday Libby Wynn. You are our joy! This past year is a blur of sweet moments and firsts and we feel truly blessed.

Can tomorrow REALLY be Christmas? A year ago today I was trying to figure out how I was gonna do the mama-of-four thing, with a brand new baby, a newly adopted son and at the busiest time of the year. I would not trade places with that lady if ya paid me. Still, there is lots to do, and family to love, and Jesus to thank... and I better get back to it all.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Moving week

2010-07-26T16:39:00.008-04:00

Well, this is it folks, time to move! It's been just a couple short months since we started talking about this crazy house-swap idea, but I know it's something God has been planning for awhile. And His plan has come right on time. My mom and dad, a bit burned out after caring for my mentally handicapped and obsessive compulsive (still lovable!) uncle, Kenny for 10 years...my sister Liz, and her husband Dustin, so ready for a (more affordable) home of their own to raise their growing family after buying my grandparents' farm and living with them next door in an addition...and us, just bursting at the seams, totally outgrowing our 3 bedroom farmhouse with minimal storage! So, at the end of this week, my sister and her husband will make our house their home, (which is now just a shelter for our many boxes and a place to sleep and eat for the rest of the week.) We will move to the place where I grew up where my parents have lived for over 20 years in a 5 bedroom ranch. And my parents will move to my sisters house, where they will care for my grandparents and dabble in farming! Part of the deal is that we will be helping to care for Kenny along with Liz and Dustin to give my mom a long-deserved break. And Billy will have a room of his own, whether permanently or for visits... (Please keep praying!) Yes, our house will be full, as usual. But I know that God will continue to guide us and help us, each step and every step of the way... to love those He has placed in our care for this season of living.

Tukula

2010-07-21T11:47:00.018-04:00

As usual, my blog is a bit all over the place. When I dream about what it could be, I think of lovely recipes and beautiful photographs. But honestly, cooking just seems like another mess and finding the memory card to plug into the laptop seems like just a bit too much effort for the moment. Just happy to be able to turn it on for a couple minutes and sit on my bed in peace and quiet, for as long as that lasts!

So, if you are checking in, you deserve a quick Billy update, but that is not the reason I jumped on here today. I will get to that in a bit. Billy was here yesterday and had a great time with our family. He told me how much he loves us, and it's true... we love him too. Things are still very up in the air, and at the very beginning stages of possibility... but pray about the idea of him becoming part of our family. And we will see what God has in store.

I wanted to give you the website for tukula, with the hopes that you will check it out, be inspired and do some shopping today! Our dear friends, Joe and Melissa, are serving God in Uganda, and we just think the world of them. Please help support what they are doing by buying a clutch or bag, and then by coming back to shop again next time you need a gift for someone you love!

So, I know I am being a bit demanding, but please please pray, and please shop!

www.tukula.org

I wish I knew

2010-07-19T20:52:00.004-04:00

Billy. What to do, what to do? Please pray. As far as I know, this blog is not something on his radar, yet. But I would hate to say anything to embarrass him, so I won't say much. I think many of you know, if only from my last blog post, that Billy has been staying with us. He is a 12 year old boy, who we have known since he was about 6, and who we love very much. He is at home tonight, and I wish he was here. He wishes he was here. And sometimes things just aren't that simple.

Life in slow motion, I wish

2010-07-14T23:03:00.008-04:00

I only have about a million things running through my head, pretty much all the time. Sound about right? You know... I should probably look for that envelope marked Re: Kyler from his preschool and Hi, Amy Butler I don't know you, but I obsess over which of your wallpaper designs will live on the wall in my new sun room, oh, in my new house, I need to pack!, why can't I get my hands on some newspaper for my breakables?, I wonder how I can get to Ikea in the near future, and oh yeah, wasn't I supposed to call someone about something and shoot, I really wanted to write back to that one email! (Yes Angie, yours!) and I should really clean out my car again, it is like admitting I am a failure at cleanliness every time someone gets a peak of the inside, shouldn't I make a list?

Not to mention the other complexities of relationships, childcare and wait, HELLO, SERVING GOD! Is it just me, or does life seem to get in the way of that sometimes? Like, am I serving him in all that I do and all that I am? or is He just a big giant after-thought? Gosh, I really hate to think that could be true. I would love to think that my days are filled with sharing His love, expressing myself with God-given gifts and bringing joy to the world, but I am afraid that often times I look more like a bit of a grump with some type of vengeance for whichever kid it was who last hid their gummy snacks under the couch cushions. And who cares about the wallpaper if the walls aren't filled with giggles and overflowing with Christian LOVE!? I need MORE of HIM!!!

Priorities, people.

Oh and in case this post creates more questions than answers for you, I should have written about how I am moving to my parents house, who are moving to my sisters house, who is moving to my house with her family. Yep, a three way house swap. And also about how I do love being a mom to my four AMAZING children, who are doing great, by the way, and Billy, who happens to be staying with us for the summer. More on those minor, ok major, details next time! Seems like my brain is a bit on the scatter tonight.

Not one day wasted

2010-06-20T23:39:00.008-04:00

Ok, well it seems as if sporatic blogging is my style right now. So if you are counting on me for daily or weekly updates, sorry to disappoint! I think that maybe I like reading blogs more than I like writing my own, but I also think it would be a shame to call it quits at this point!

So, thanks for putting up with me. And I won't make any promises about when you will hear from me again.

Come to think of it, that applies to you even if you are my very best friend. I guess life is just like that right now, or at least I have a better excuse than usual for being less-than-attentive to most of my dear relationships. Just hold please, the kids will go to school, some day. (Wait, does life get easier then?)

Even though my days are filled with my children, my mind is filled with so much that is beyond the walls of my cozy home. I don't want to go a single day without remembering those whose lives are far less attractive than mine, who suffer and cry and hurt so deeply. Those who are hungry for food, and even more hungry for love. I don't want to go a single day without whispering a "thank you" to my Father in Heaven for His grace, His love and His provision beyond imagination to many. And I don't want to go a single day without speaking the name of Jesus to my children, at the very least to remind them how much they are loved by Him.

How about you?

Little moments like this

2010-06-14T09:03:00.003-04:00

Back with a fresh take!

2010-04-28T23:11:00.003-04:00

Would anyone guess that Arnold Jacob has been home with us for six months already? No kidding! He is now just your basic kid, special in his own way, but every bit a part of us as the rest. So now that the Bringing Arnold Home journey is behind us, it seems to me it was time to re-title the blog and find some new material! Well, not totally new of course, Arnold will always be part of all that we do and the person that I am. In thinking about my life, I could only think of my kids, who have been given to me to love, each day, in every way. Like when Kyler puts salt in the freshly brewed tea, or when Ellie needs to be held when I am making dinner. When Arnold forgets to flush his poo or when Libby won't go down for a nap. When the kids are all fighting, picking, fussing, clinging and demanding. When I am short on sleep, short on patience, short on time for me. Even then. Seems like a big challenge for such a flawed person, but it is something I want to take very seriously, the raising of these priceless children who have been given to me by my Father in heaven, given to love...

American Arnold

2010-03-04T20:52:00.002-05:00

No, it isn't official yet, but Arnold certainly is proving to be adapting quite well to life in America. He prefers water from the fridge over the tap, rejects bananas that have even a hint of a brown spot and made sure his sneaks have a swoosh like his brothers. He likes "Go, Diego, Go," "Handy Manny" and "Max and Ruby." He goes sledding, throws snowballs, and loves "Old" McDonald's french fries.

I am mostly happy for him, that he can make choices about food and clothing and that he is living so comfortably. But in a way, it makes me sad too. We are so spoiled that our way of living has made a little boy who was thankful for a couple matchbox cars or a pile of beans and root four months ago into someone who expects the best!

Most importantly, he has a family and we have him. And we love him to peices! We are trying to learn not to be so self-focused... to train ourselves and our children to really put others first. And to be thankful for what the good Lord has given to us.

The simple things

2010-02-24T21:59:00.005-05:00

Loving lately:

-Kyler and Arnold singing along with Taylor Swift in the car. AJ says "I want Romeo and Julie mommy!"

-Ellie saying "I not" when she actually is

-Mocha Frappes

-the blessing of good friends and good conversations

-That magical time of night when all the kids are finally sleeping

-Little Lib and her little grin

-Apple pie from Lancaster, and the people who bring it

Love Him

2010-01-27T22:55:00.006-05:00

Hope no one was holding your breath since my last post. Seems as if I don't usually have much uninterrupted free time these days.

"Mom, Mom, MOM...."

"What!?"

"Will you get me a snack/drink/wipe my hiney/nose?"

"Kyler/Arnold/Ellie is bugging me/hitting me/won't share with me!"

"Can I help you do that/see that/eat that/play with that?"

and repeat.

Anyway, I thought it was time to elaborate on my last post just a bit. My good friend Jen called to make sure I wasn't packing my bags and heading to Africa without notice. She knows me well enough to know that I would. (Thanks for your concern Jen, I promise you will won't have to read it on Facebook if/when the time comes!)

Here is what God is teaching me, in a nutshell: That it isn't so important where I am physically as it is where my heart is at. That I need to be serving Him and needing Him and worshiping Him and sharing Him, no matter where on this earth I happen to be. And that at any time He could ask us to sell all that we have and move to Africa or anywhere else and He wants to know that I would say "yes, Lord."

See, selling my things and moving isn't the point, exactly. BUT being truly willing to sell my things if God asks me to and giving all that I have to give of myself, my time and my money no matter where I am is what being a Christian is all about. Loving Him, trusting Him, serving others.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind and love your neighbor as yourself. Luke 10:27

The good life

2010-01-04T16:47:00.010-05:00

Two plus months since Arnold Jacob rocked our world with his little African self. Two weeks since Libby Wynn made her fast and furious appearance. Justin has so lovingly assured me that no one has really been missing my blog posts, since all the excitement of bringing Arnold home is over. But, I insist, the excitement is just beginning!

Arnold likes to chew with his mouth open, poo with the door open and laugh like every silly thing is the funniest thing he has ever heard/seen/done. "HA-HA!" he bellows. He is a joy to those he meets and makes friends quickly, with the young and the old. He officially starts preschool tomorrow!

Libby gets more kisses and eats more than any little princess really needs, I am sure. She is beautiful and wonderful and is quickly getting fat.

Kyler and Ellie haven't seemed to notice that things are COMPLETELY different for them then they were as recently as October. They have welcomed the two new additions to our family as if they were meant to be. And they were.

As for Justin and I, we are reading Crazy Love, by Francis Chan, and trying to figure out what God has in store for us and our four priceless children. I can't help but know in the depths of me that He has more for us than just living the good life in America.

See, you really should stay tuned... : )

PS I have very good intentions of posting photos of Arnold's first Christmas with us and of our new little sweetie.

Can it be December?

2009-12-07T15:10:00.012-05:00

Well, Arnold has been here for about a month and a half now, and it could have well been years as easily as he has adjusted to his new life and as well as he fits into our growing family! He really is doing remarkably well and as far as we can tell seems to be settling in very well to his new rules, expectations, routine etc.

Of course, there have been adjustments for all of us! The boys could wear anyone out, not to mention a very pregnant mama. They are full of life and energy, and sometimes just plain full of it! I love how all of the kids interact when they are behaving and being sweet, which really is most of the time. Ellie adores Arnold and he still lets her play with his ears if they are watching tv together! The boys include her in whatever they are doing, and Kyler never asks to have friends over anymore. (He used to ask almost everyday!) Of course, they all enjoy spending time with their cousins and our other extended family and we have had many special moments together including Arnold's first Thanksgiving, gingerbread making, birthday celebrations, and most recently Arnold's first snow!

Arnold will be starting preschool after Christmas, but he is a little worried. He said he will be scared without his Daddy and Mommy there, but I suspect that he will do quite well once he is comfortable in his environment. Next year he will go to kindergarten and Kyler to preschool.

As for me... this very well could be my last post before we are a family of six! I have been neglecting the computer, which is better than neglecting my family, I am sure, but it does feel like my only connection to the outside world some days! Even now I sit here in our usual mid-day mess, thinking of all the things I should be doing in case I have to make an sudden trip to the hospital! At my recent appointment, it didn't seem as though Libby would be waiting until Christmas to make her appearance! Let's hope not!

Thanks for your continued love, prayers and support of our family! We hope to be a blessing to others in our lives, despite our busyness and our unpredictable lives!

The past two weeks

2009-11-11T20:15:00.003-05:00

The first full week that Arnold was here, after his travels and after the cabin, we spent at home. On purpose. It was important to me that Arnold started to feel at home in this house, and that we followed our new routine as best we could.

Week two was full of fevers, colds, medicine, deciding which bedroom to put the one humidifier in (gosh, we really need two of those before the next round!) and more staying at home- not by choice! Oh, and in the middle of the week, I thought I was going into pre-term labor! (Please Lord, let number four stay put for a bit!) After the staff at the hospital did all they could to make sure that baby was perfectly fine and not going anywhere, they sent me home blaming dehydration. I was a bit puzzled and lacking a clear reason why I felt like my insides hated me! After looking back on some of their concerns and questions, and after more symptoms developed, I have self-diagnosed gallbladder issues, on top of the dehydration. A clear sign that I will have to take better care of myself for the rest of this pregnancy!!

So, by this week, we were all going a little nuts. Thankfully we are all feeling better! Just a couple lingering coughs and runny noses. We've accomplished a couple of outings to the grocery store, the park, lunch and even went to Red Robin tonight for Kyler's birthday! Arnold is still adjusting wonderfully and seems to enjoy everything about being part of our family. Don't get me wrong, the three kids are still figuring out how to get along, or maybe just settling into normal sibling-rivalry, but they all seem to truly love each other and have very special moments together being just plain precious.

I am behind on laundry, friendships, and sometimes patience, but I am drinking lots of water, trying to rest when I can and I wouldn't trade this crazy time in our lives for anything!

So blessed...

2009-10-31T23:22:00.000-04:00

Everyday life

2009-10-29T09:52:00.008-04:00

Monday was my first day at home with all three! I realized pretty quickly that I was going to have to make some adjustments to my daily schedule, or rather lack there of! Most days in the past looked like this: computer time/sometimes devotionals for me, tv time for the kids til they really woke up, hot tea for me, cereal for the kids, a shower around 10, baths for the kids, or did they have them yesterday? perhaps we'll skip! Maybe a trip into town if we were all dressed by 11ish for groceries, the park or a visit with aunts/cousins/grandmas.

Monday was more like this: Arnold slept late and wet the bed. Into the tub for him, sheets in the laundry! The other kids already had their usual breakfast, but Arnold was hungry! "Mommy, I want eggs!" Kyler: "Me too! Dippy eggs! and toast!" Arnold: "Not me, I want white eggs!" So, half an hour later, the kitchen was covered in toast crumbs and bits of egg. By the time everything was cleaned up, they all wanted apples. Peeled and cored. Lots of them. Justin came home for lunch (I was so glad to see him!) I threw chicken nuggets in the oven and made some rice to try to appeal to Arnold. And opened a jar of peaches. Arnold ate the rice with ketchup but only nibbled on the nuggets. I think he licked a peach. The rest of the day was spent wiping the boys rears, changing diapers, getting drinks and snacks and cleaning up messes. They seemed to leave them everywhere they went! Thankfully, Justin willingly gave them all baths that night and tucked them into bed.

Day two: I needed a plan. I decided that showering before Justin left for work was a good option to ensure that I got one at all. I got clothes ready for the kids first thing in the morning and had boiled eggs the night before so all that I had to do was peel and serve! Me and the kids were all dressed and fed by nine or so. Clean up from breakfast was minimal and I think I snuck in a little time to myself? We stayed at home again all day and played games, did preschool books and colored and the kids played outside. No naps, not even for Miss Ellie who thinks she is too good for naps. Justin agreed to the bath, books and bedtime routine and all the kids were in bed at a reasonable time, all tucked in with prayers and love!

Yesterday looked pretty similar and we are all settling in to our new and improved routine. I still have not attempted to take all three of them anywhere by myself but feel that spending this time at home together has been good for all of us! At the end of each day, I am super tired, but I know that this will get easier for all of us... hopefully just in time for baby! Justin and I agree that having more children has already and will continue to force us to be more organized and consistent, a huge plus!

Things Arnold is adjusting to:
-the cold weather! He doesn't seem to mind wearing a coat, boots etc, but he never wants to stay out for long. He tells me often that it's too cold. However, his little head sweats at night!
-the dog. He is terrified of him! Justin works with him a little each day, but if Chase is inside- the only places that Arnold wants to be are on my lap or on the dining room table!
-the food! He still seems to be unsure of what he likes and how to eat it. Often he will take one bite with his spoon and then use the other hand to shovel some more in!
-the potty. He doesn't make messes in his pants, but the poor dear thinks he has to ask me every time he needs to go! "Mama, may I go su-su?!" (His word for pee)
-his siblings! They all seem adore each other most of the time, but they are definitely working some things out and trying to figure out how to get along! Arnold and Kyler are learning the art of tattling. Things like "Mommy, Kyler said stinky!" Or "He has my ___" (book, toy etc.)

Things I am adjusting to:
-I suddenly have three kids under 5! Everything! Seriously though, I am mostly trying to figure out how to try to show them all equal love and preference and find time for myself, God, and my husband. I know that over time, this will get easier too, even after the baby comes. I hope that over time Arnold learns his role in our family and that he will continue to bond with all of us in a very special way. Justin has been awesome with Arnold and I am so thankful for the time that they have already shared together in Africa learning to know and love one another! It's great to see.

Many of you have asked:
-How is his English? He speaks it very well, although he phrases things differently than we are used to and has an adorable accent!! For example, he will say "This is what?" instead of "What is this?" However, he knows all of his letters and can sound things out to spell! If he is having a hard time thinking of a name or word, he will ask "It starts with what?"
Other notes:
-Ellie and Arnold like to sit very close to each other on the couch to watch tv and even put their arms around each other sometimes! One day Arnold was letting her play with his ear! (She likes to play with her own)
-Kyler and Arnold love to "wrestle," play cars and spend almost all of their time together through the day. Sometimes Ellie tags along, but she is happy to play by herself sometimes too.
-Kyler went through the house and showed Arnold all of his favorite hide-and-seek places!
-Arnold told me that he misses Daisy! His little sweet friend from Amani!
-Arnold asks about snow almost everyday.
-He wants to know "what time" Auntie Megan is having her baby!
-He loves to look at photos and video of himself with his brother and sister and also of his friends and the staff at Amani. He tells me every one's names!

Food likes and dislikes:
We are still figuring all of this out! Some of it is typical kid stuff. For example, corn has moved to his "likes" list and he loves chicken (just not in nugget form) so I made a big pot of chicken corn soup. Yeah, well, he likes corn and chicken, just not together. His favorite things have been the hard boiled eggs, bananas, yogurt, juice and meat. He doesn't like milk (unless it's chocolate) cheese or bread. I have tried making him foods like rice and beans and bought some flat bread, but I am sure it all tastes much different to him from how it is deliciously prepared in Africa!

In my "spare time" I would like to do more reading on adoption and also look up some good recipes. Any suggestions!?

Our weekend

2009-10-26T21:47:00.004-04:00

Arnold woke up in his new house Friday morning before the other kids were out of bed. He had slept in our bed so that he wouldn't be scared if he woke up through the night. We took him downstairs to show him around and spend some time making sure he knew his surroundings. Justin carried him around as he asked "This is what?" about many things, mostly toys!

When the other kids woke up, they both seemed excited to see him! Ellie warmed up to him quickly and soon they were all playing together in the living room. We had cereal for breakfast; Kyler had been talking all about the Frosted Flakes that we had bought earlier in the week. He usually eats "big people cereals," but really seemed to like the tiger on the box. So did Arnold!

Justin was given an extra day off work to be with the family and we spent the morning playing and then had lunch, grilled cheese and grapes. Arnold ate only the crust off of his sandwich and would just lick the grapes! I was starting to worry about what I would feed him! Luckily, he settled on a banana.

We had planned to go to our cabin with my family for the weekend and decided there was no reason that we couldn't and that it might actually be a nice way to spend Arnold's first weekend home. My dad built it in the middle of the woods with a lake and surrounded by God's beauty; it's our favorite place to spend a weekend. And it's only about a 25 minute drive from home!

We got there late in the afternoon and Arnold got to meet his cousins, Laine and Chad and Aunt Lizzie who were waiting for us. Eventually, the whole family came... Auntie Sarah of course, and the other aunts and uncles, and both sets of grandparents. Oh, and Uncle Ken, my uncle who lives with my parents due to his mental disabilities. He asked "Who's kid?"

For dinner we ordered in from a local pizza place. Who doesn't like stromboli!? Arnold did pretty well with dinner. He made up for his lack of eating Friday on Saturday and Sunday. Of course we always have PLENTY of food at the cabin. Saturday morning my mom made eggs for the kids. He sat up on the counter and watched her. He was very concerned when she stirred them around together and exclaimed "They're yellow!" He had seemed very agreeable to eggs and excited about the whole process, so we were confused about why he wouldn't eat them. Just a piece of toast... hmm? When Auntie Sarah woke up, she told us that at Amani, they hard boil the eggs and the kids hold them in their hands to eat them! We had a good laugh about that!

Saturday's menu included:
-Plenty of OJ
-Several apples
-4-5 hard boiled eggs!
-Piles of Goldfish crackers (he even stole from the other kids' piles when they weren't looking)
-An ice cream cone (He asked for a spoon and Auntie Sarah had to show him that he could eat the cone too-but he was very skeptical about that!)
-White cheddar cheese curls
-Ham, ham and more ham, just plain, by the handfuls!
-Homemade cookies

Things he rejected were:
-Chili (Too spicy for his liking!)
-Ham Salad on a bun and Baked ham in a bun (Sarah said he is not used to sandwiches)
-Mashed potatoes
-Corn
-Cheese Sunday was about the same, he ate mostly apples and meat, and cake! We had pork and sauerkraut for dinner after church and he only wanted pork and hot dogs. I think he ate almost 4 hot dogs before we made him stop! He knew what they were right away and said he had eaten them "in town."

Church on Sunday was probably a bit too overwhelming for him, but everyone was so thrilled to see him! He was received a very warm welcome and is defiantly loved! He didn't want to stay in his class during church even though Kyler and him are in the same one, so we just kept him with us. He was very good (but not always quiet!) during the service and took turns sitting with Auntie Sarah, my parents and us. The pastor had me, Justin, Sarah and Arnold come up front.

Some cute things Arnold said over the weekend:
"Daddy, that is the River Nile!" when he saw the lake
"Mommy, is this Africa?" when we were walking in the woods
"I want to go for a ride on the bota-bota!" (Four wheeler)
"Auntie Sarah sleeps beside us!" (Her room was next to ours)
(I will have to add more as I think of them and talk to family)
We also heard many times "This is what?" or "This is for what?", more "Also me!" and "You-see!" usually with lots of expression!

Some things he enjoyed doing over the weekend:
-Feeding the fish in the lake with Pappy Joe, Daddy and other kids (said "You-see!" when the fish jumped.)
-His walk with Mommy, Kyler, Lainey and Ken
-His boat ride Pappy Joe and Kyler (a near disaster when it got sucked into the drain pipe!)
-Playing for hours with his brother, sister and cousins
-Cutting with scissors, placing stickers in his sticker book (he was very precise with both) and coloring with markers
-Rough-housing with Uncle Steve
-Singing for us, counting in Lugandan (Sarah encouraged him and we loved it!)
-Candy Land with Daddy
-Dancing with Pappy Joe
-Ring-a-round the Rosy and Motor-boat with cousins
-Eating cake (Nana's and Grammy's)
-Stomping on ladybugs (he really had something against them, and there were hundreds outside the one afternoon)
-Watching VeggieTales with Ellie in bed with the portable DVD player
-Reading books with everyone

(I will add pictures to this post tomorrow! Things are going well, but I am SO tired! Two boys are a handful!! Up to bed for the night! I still want to write more about how we are all "dealing" and how Arnold seems to be adjusting too!)

Arnold's Arrival

2009-10-25T21:06:00.003-04:00

Because I want to record as much as I possibly can about Arnold's first few days with us, I thought I would blog a little each day about Arnold's arrival, his transition to life here and our wonderful weekend at the cabin with family. That way those of you who have prayed for us and cared so much and loved us through the last several months can share a glimpse of his homecoming with us.

We decided to take Kyler (almost 4 yrs) along on our trip to pick up Arnold at the airport at the last minute. What a good decision! We hadn't given much thought to the idea, due to the long drive to Detroit, but couldn't think of a way to tell him that he wasn't allowed to go along without causing him to feel left out or rejected. Certainly not how we wanted to start things off with these brothers! We left on Wednesday after Justin got home from work at about six o'clock. After a stop in State College for dinner, we were on our way! Kyler was asleep shortly after dinner and slept until we stopped at a hotel in the early morning.

From previous travels, Kyler knew that sometimes hotels have swimming pools. He had packed a swimsuit and beach towel and talked very excitedly about all the swimming he and Daddy would do. We knew it would be hard to spend much time driving around looking for a hotel with a pool, and also had to find a Wal-mart/Target to buy a camera. (I left ours at home!) I prayed that we would easily find both, since I knew we wouldn't have much time to waste in the morning either. As we pulled off a random exit, a huge sign pointed us to a Days Inn and advertised a brand new pool, just 500 ft away! A quick search on the GPS discovered a Wal-mart less than two miles down the road. Isn't God cool!?

Justin and Kyler spent the morning in the pool before we packed up and headed out. We had about an hour of driving left to do and we were excited to get to the airport. When we pulled into the parking garage with the hundreds of cars, Kyler said "Wow! Lots of people are adopting aren't they!?" Wouldn't that be great if everyone who was there was really there to pick up a child!? I smile every time I think about him saying that.

We were there super early and spent a couple hours anxiously awaiting Arnold's arrival! We took turns walking around with Kyler to keep him occupied. The plane landed at 12:55pm, but Anna and Arnold needed to come through customs and immigration before we could see them. We watched each time the doors opened at International Arrivals hoping the next faces we would see would be theirs! Finally close to 2pm, we saw Anna and Arnold hand-in-hand on the other side! Arnold was using his spare hand to cover his humongous smile! We greeted them just outside the doors and gave hugs all around! What a special moment. I thought I would be sobbing, but I think I forced myself not to so that I didn't scare the poor child! He knew who we were right away and seemed very excited to see us. Anna was wonderful and we spent a several hurried minutes talking to her about Arnold's documents and hearing about their trip! Overall, they both did very well. Arnold especially liked the food on the plane and seemed to be very comfortable with Anna. Kyler must have noticed for the first time that Arnold was a different color than us. He took my hand and quietly asked me about it. Thankfully my simple answer of "That is the color of skin that God gave him" seemed to satisfy for now.

As the adults talked, Kyler directed Arnold to his backpack of toys, including many small cars. They laid on their bellies on the floor and played together, oblivious to the rest of the world around them. When it was time to say goodbye to Anna, Kyler took a hold of Arnold's hand and guided him through the airport, all the way out to the car. Through rotating doors, up escalators, on moving walkways and in the elevator. It was the most precious thing I have ever seen.

We stopped along the way to look out of a large window to watch planes as they took off. Arnold kept saying something very excitedly that sounded like "You see!" I think it is actually a Lugandan word that means "Look!" He used that word many, many times as we left the airport and drove to find somewhere to stop for dinner. Things that caught his eye were a cement mixer, tractor trailer trucks, cars going above us on overpasses and more planes as they came and went from the airport.

We decided on a McDonald's for the Playplace since we knew the boys would be sitting for the rest of the day. We hoped that we would find one that wasn't crowded. The third McDonald's that we found had a large indoor play area that was empty! We ordered food and left the boys play for awhile before we sat down to eat. Arnold LOVED the whole experience and continued to say "You see!" and added "Also me!" many times when he wanted to do or have what Kyler was doing or had as they played and then sat down to eat. Arnold prayed first... "Hands together! Eyes closed! Dear Jesus! Bless our food! Bless our water! In Jesus name! Amen!" then Kyler followed with our family prayer "God is great, God is good..." Arnold ate french fries by the fistfuls and loved his chocolate milk! The chicken nuggets were not his favorite. We are finding that many foods are just prepared much differently than he is used to! (More on his eating habits and preferences later!)

Back in the car, we continued to talk and sing until Arnold couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. He fell asleep at about 4 or 5 in the afternoon and slept until the next morning, only stirring a little when we put him to bed at our house that night. I knew at the end of that day that Arnold was easy to love, and that taking Kyler along for the trip was one of the best things that we could have done to ease him into our family.

Bringing Arnold HOME!!!

2009-10-20T15:56:00.002-04:00

FINALLY!!! He is coming! He will arrive in MI with an extremely generous and kind escort and friend Anna on Thursday. Justin and I are leaving tomorrow to spend the night somewhere near the airport so that we can be waiting to snatch him off the plane and bring him HOME!!!

SINGING PRAISES and so thrilled! Please keep praying for us, Arnold, Anna and her family and the other Amani families. Hoping to post more later!

Anyone care if I rant?

2009-10-16T22:58:00.001-04:00

Okay, so if I am honest, we are feeling beyond frustrated today! My thoughts involve screaming at someone or having some type of irrational Ellie-like fit. (If you don't know our dear little one, she has earned herself the nickname "Sassy" and lives up to it.) Of course, there isn't really a person to blame, or someone to point a finger at. I can't really say that it has been one person's fault that every. little. thing. that could go wrong seems to be. Oh, I know it could be worse. Much. And that this little rant is probably quite selfish. Besides, I always feel really really terrible after yelling at someone. The thing is: we want Arnold here so bad! It feels like each time we think it is about to happen, it slips through our fingers.

Today's events involve a document that couldn't be downloaded, an uncooperative printer, more misplaced forms and I am sure a long day for Dana, Asher's mama- who was trying to make it all happen! (Thank you Dana!) Bottom line- no medical forms, no visa!

Yes, there is still hope, and everyone seems ready and willing to cooperate. Things are coming together, slowly but surely. Amy put it this way "This is going to work out. It is just a matter of time. Satan very much hates adoption. It is very clear to me after working with all these adoptions that this is true. God defends the cause of the fatherless and puts the solitary into families! If the Lord is on your side, who can be against you?"

I know that everything she wrote is true and am thankful for the encouragement. Everyday more and more people write kind notes, emails and comments on our blog or Facebook. Words that mean so much when so much of you is focused on one thing. I know that we are so blessed and that Arnold is loved by so many. I know this isn't even about us, that it is way bigger than us. I also know that this could all come together in a day and all be over that quickly. I mean over in the sense that Arnold will be free to come home... but just the beginning of a whole new journey. One that I am so ready to begin.

And as far as Arnold goes, everyone says that he is doing just fine! He is confident that he is coming home soon and he knows that he has a family in America that loves him. We sent a video of Justin, Ky and Ellie in the snow yesterday for him to watch and he knew right away who they were and asked to watch it again. Right now, he is just a happy kid in a happy place, knowing and trusting in the fact that he is loved.